It all starts somewhere
by sweetnothingshappen
Summary: Patrick and Shelagh have been married for nearly a year but something's missing. Not a oneshot. Please R and R.
1. Chapter 1

**All of these characters belong to call the midwife of course. So basically this story is about a newly-wed Patrick and Shelagh Turner. Shelagh is the official spelling apparently before anyone stats hating. I would love some follows or reviews- it really does make writing a fic so much better. There will be more added to this I have a whole little plan brewing in my head. It is also in need of a beta so if anyone fancies it PM me. Enjoy. **

She kneaded the dough gently, her rings resting on the windowsill. She was humming to herself, the late afternoon light filtering through the back door and the soft melodies of birds could be heard. 19 Kenilworth Row was an oasis of calm- her personal sanctuary- it was still right in the middle of London's suburbs but the small driving way separated it from the commotion of the outside world perfectly. She began to line the bread tin and as she did she did not hear a car pull up or a key in the lock or the quiet turn of the front door. She expertly placed the loaf into the tin and put it to rise upon the stove top as she began to ash the small clutch of dishes she had used. As she turned on the tap she noticed in the reflection of the mirror that he was intently watching her, his eyes full of adoration and it made her blush. Yet she smiled at the same time and carried on with the task at hand. "You're home early. Timothy isn't even back yet."

He had moved and picked up a tea towel and began to dry the dishes as she placed them on the draining board. "There was nothing else for me to do once I had finished my rounds. So I thought I'd surprise you."

She smiled brightly. "Well what a lovely surprise." She pulled the plug out, dried her hands on her apron and slipped her rings back on.

"is that all you can say?"

"Well what else is there?" He laughed at the look she gave him, her hands resting on her hips as she waited for him to finish so she could get the last of the bowls away. "I do miss you on my days off but I do not want you to put me before your duty." They had moved to the sitting room and sat together hands entwined as she rested against his shoulder.

"Well I suppose that's what I get for marrying a nun." She giggled lightly, she had only just become accustomed to laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

"How was your day doctor?"

"Busy for anywhere but Poplar."

"Oh don't worry I'm sure you'll get another baby boom soon." She squeezed his hand as he sighed heavily looking at her and she knew exactly what he was thinking. They had not yet had any children of their own, not for lack of want or trying. Shelagh was quietly relieved about it because she wasn't sure how Timothy would have taken a new mother and baby. They sat in silence for a while before he spoke up.

"I was thinking we should go on holiday during the summer holidays. Timothy and I usually go up to Scotland but if-"

"I would love to go. I've never had the chance to see very much of it for myself except of course Aberdeenshire."

"Good. We usually take the train to Glasgow. There's a place where I can rent a car and then we drive to an Island called Mull. The beaches are covered in white sand and we stay in the most wonderful farmhouse. If we get good weather we usually camp for a couple of nights but if y-"

"No, no carry on I want to hear more."

"We could get a boat to Iona- oh it's even smaller than mull. You would love it there's an old monastery to explore. We could stay for a week or so and get the sleeper home again."

"it all sounds so… wonderful." She kissed him softly then realising that they had forgone their usual greeting.

"Well I'll phone the farmhouse tomorrow. I was thinking the first week in August, how does that sound?"

"Perfect." She laughed at how much of a little boy he had suddenly become. "When shall we tell Timothy?"

"Tonight if you'd like. I'm surprised he hasn't already started going on about it. Last year he wanted the three of us to go together."

"I would have come." He smiled knowingly when she said that.

"ahh but I didn't want to scare you off. Now I really must get up to my study to find this number for the Macdonalds." He kissed her on the forehead before he leapt away towards the stairs. It seemed like it was going to be a very good holiday indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ah another update because I just wanted to hash these out quickly. Please keep reviewing etc etc. Oh and thank you to those who have. I promise they will actually leave in the next chapter! **

Spring gave way to summer quickly after that and the end of July seemed to appear out of nowhere. Shelagh had her last day before the all important holiday. Although many expected her to stay at home as soon as she was married she refused to give up the vocation that she loved, her concession was to work only part time. She was sitting in parish hall after clinic sipping a cup of tea. Sister Evangeline and Trixie were on call with her husband. She was somewhat relieved that Trixie wasn't there. She had been feeling under the weather for a couple of days and Trixie kept assuming that it was a sign she was pregnant but had not asked her directly if she was expecting or not. Shelagh knew what was what and that she had simply caught the bug that Timothy had had the week before. "You must send us a postcard."

"Oh yes please do."

"Oh course I will and if I don't then I'm sure Timothy will."

"I'm glad he's so excited you too seem to be getting on very well." Cynthia gave her a knowing look.

"Yes we are thankfully. It's so nice to have someone call you Mum and he's such a sweetheart, smart too. He's had his case packed for two weeks, it's been sitting at the bottom of the stairs for an age. Patrick keeps tripping up on it when he runs out to a call. Timothy was so excited when we told him."

"Told Timothy what? Is there going to be more little turners running around?" Trixie popped her head in through the door. Shelagh sighed heavily knowing that she'd have to deal with this question sooner or later. They were fast approaching their first wedding anniversary and there was not even a hint of a baby so although it stung she knew she had to answer.

"No. Not at the present moment in time is there but maybe one day in the future." The room fell silent for a moment. Shelagh's tone had been one of finality and rather sombre, everyone sipped their tea quietly and Trixie went to put her coat away. It was not until Patrick appeared at the doorway did the mood change. "Hello ladies, did clinic go well."

"Quite well." Everyone mumbled something similar. Patrick gave Shelagh a quick look which she knew was asking if she was alright, she nodded as inconspicuously as possible. They soon were preparing to leave and pick up Timothy from a friend's house where he had gone after school. The car journey started of quietly before Patrick spoke. "Are you excited for tomorrow?"

"Yes I am." Although she was excited her tone seemed flat.

"You don't sound like it very much. We can cancel if you'd rather not or you don't feel up to it?"

"No, no!" She internally cursed herself slightly; she had been hoping he hadn't notice that she was ill in case he jumped to wrong conclusions also.

"Well I'd wager it because of what you were talking about just before I came in this afternoon." She nodded mumbling "yes."

"Are you going to tell me what it was about?"

"Babes." He chuckled.

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"It wasn't about clinic; it was about us and babes." Suddenly the penny dropped.

"Trixie just asked if there were to be any little turners running around soon and I told her no."

"Do you want little turners?"

"I love you and Timothy- I really do but…"

"But you would like to have a baby I understand." He said it reassuringly and without any anger.

"Yes I would like to have a baby very much."

"We have been married less than a year and we both know that babies take time."

"I thought that maybe it was penance my renouncing my vows."

"No, of course not."

"But maybe there is something wrong with me- You've had timothy so there's no reason why you can't have children."

"That was over 10 years ago. Now Shelagh I promise you there is nothing wrong, we just need to be patient that's all." They had pulled up to the house of Timothy's friend and he was waiting patiently.

"Hello sweetheart how was your day?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Day uno of the holiday is up. I have to say the feedback I've had has been tremendous- thank you all so much- and I hope that everyone who reads this will enjoy it. The next chapter is written but it needs to be typed up. I have to say I'm not overly thrilled by this chapter but the next one is better. Oh and before anyone complains anout the setting of this it will be accurate for two reasons, A.) I am Scottish and B.) My grandparents visited Mull in the sixties so I have been told plenty of tales about it.**

Shelagh and Patrick were woken earlier than expected by one very excited young boy. They had both guessed the night before that waking Timothy would be no issue but were surprised to see his appearance with a tray of breakfast things. He smiled up at them, his father ruffling his hair as Shelagh reached for her glasses. She still felt a bit poorly but she would live. Seeing Timothy's face made it all worthwhile.

"Sorry there's no tea but dad doesn't like me using the cooker." He had glasses of milk and some bread and jam.

"This is just perfect Timothy, Thank you so much it is the perfect start to our holiday." She gave him a hug as he climbed in between her and Patrick.

"I'm glad you didn't use the cooker though imagine if you'd burnt yourself who could have helped?"

"Well there is a doctor and a midwife in the house Dad I think I'd be okay."

"Is there I didn't think they were on duty." He raised an eyebrow at his son who just smiled at him. "I don't want to hear any more from you young man, holidays or not I still expect decent manners."

"What time is the car supposed to arrive?" Timothy asked Shelagh.

"9 o'clock." She took a drink of milk but suddenly found that she needed a toilet and fast. She made a small meep before running from the bed.

"Did I do something wrong Dad". Timothy anxiously said as they heard her in the bathroom.

"No I don't think so. I don't think she's been feeling too well recently."

She came back and slunk into the bed. "Where were we?"

"We were discussing leaving."

"Yes the car leaves at 9 o'clock but we have plenty of time it's not even gone seven yet."

"Timothy why don't you tidy up?" Timothy huffed slightly as he carried away the tray now with just the dirty dishes. As soon as he was out of earshot Patrick spoke up. "Why didn't you say that you still had this bug?"

"It's nothing."

"Shelagh we can cancel if you don't feel up to it."

"No we can't. I couldn't do that to Timothy."

"He would understand."

"I'm fine- it is just a bug."

"Please don't overdo it at least for me then?"

"I promise I won't. It was just that milk made me feel wretched." She patted his leg as she finished her bread.

He sighed and then got out of bed and wandered along to the bathroom.

They were ready to go by 9 o'clock. Timothy went to wait outside for the car coming. Shelagh watched him from the window acutely aware that she was also being watched by her husband. She was watching him kick stones about and thinking about how lonely he must be. She knew that if they had a baby it would never play with him but it was something, something to keep him company.

"You look so beautiful like that."

"I was just thinking that's all."

"You think so much for one person sometimes."

"I can't help it." She fixed his collar, his looser tie needing a tiny adjustment. "When we had our silence I used to think constantly and when I was lost well I would think."

"What would you think of?"

"You and Timothy… and God." She brushed off a few stray threads and admired his tie.

"I can't believe that-"

"CARS HERE!" Timothy roared from the outside as he ran up to the house.

"Timothy there is no need to shout."

"But Dad come on!" He began to pull him towards the door as Shelagh laughed. This was what she had left Nonnatus for. It was not for material goods but love, which she had found in this little house in east London.

They had loaded the car up quickly, Patrick had told Shelagh not to do anything but she had helped Timothy move the cases to the front door. They had double checked everything was locked up, that Timothy's goldfish had enough food to keep it going and that nothing had been left on. They arrived with half an hour to spare at Euston. Timothy ran to look at the trains.

"He always loved steam trains as a little boy." The suitcases had been taken by a porter to be loaded onto the train.

"He still is a little boy." He was beckoning them over to look at the trains.

"I suppose he is."

"You mustn't forget that. Even you can act like a little boy sometimes." She smiled at him reassuringly, squeezing his arm. He took her hand and they walked over to stand beside Timothy.

They found their seats on the train. Patrick sat next to Timothy with Shelagh sitting opposite.

The train pulled off and soon the urban sprawl melted into to green fields and a few villages that were scattered through the countryside. Patrick had brought a pack of cards and some scrap paper to play games with. Timothy bet both of the adults however Shelagh won hangman by a long shot.

They didn't arrive into Glasgow until about five o'clock. "There's a good fish and chips shop on the way to the garage, we can stop there to grab something otherwise I don't think we'll catch the ferry at Oban."

"How far is the garage?"

"A couple of streets it's next to Queen Street Station, tell you what about we get a cab?"

"Yes please." Timothy had fallen asleep and was still rather grumpy at being woken. They were soon in a cab heading for Queens Street. Patrick pointed out the chip shop to Shelagh as they passed. "How about you and Timothy go get supper and I'll sort out the car?"

"Yes that sounds fine; I think I can find my way." He smiled warmly giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"That's my girl." Timothy snuggled into Shelagh trying to feign sleep. "Come on Timothy, you can sleep all you like in the car and you always like Franco's fish and chips."

Timothy moaned but was first out of the cab when they arrived at the station. Shelagh took his hand as they walked off together. He was still sleepy but was soon pointing all the statues out in George's square. They ordered the fish and chips and were soon walking back towards the garage. "Have you ever been to Glasgow before?"

"No, no I haven't." She felt her stomach make a lurch as an aroma of fish and chips hit her nostrils yet it was not the type that would send her to the nearest toilet.

"Oh." She smiled at Timothy's youthful ignorance. "We've been coming for years ever since Mummy died. Dad wanted to get far away from everything."

"Well it certainly is far from London." She carried on, she never made a big fuss about Timothy speaking about his mother, it was only natural. "Come on I wonder if your father has the car sorted yet."

They were soon leaving Glasgow behind and heading towards the west coast. The sun was still a few hours from setting but Timothy fell asleep soon after they left Glasgow. Shelagh smiled when she saw him. "He looks so little sleeping like that."

"Don't let it fool you." Patrick checked for a brief second. "Wait till he wakes up at five in the morning to go to the beach."

"He wouldn't."

"Last year on the first day he woke me up at 4:30.I told him to go back to bed until at least six. He came back at six on the dot." She laughed imagining the scene playing out.

"Is the beach really that beautiful?"

"Oh yes, I've never been to one like it. After we went once I got hooked."

"Yes he was speaking about Glasgow and how much you've loved it."

"Ahhh." He looked at her for a moment. "Before his mother died we would go to Cornwall but after I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

"My father moved within about two months after my Mother died." She said it quietly.

"I considered that but she would have murdered me for uprooting Timothy." He laughed lightly as he looked at Timothy. "Just imagine we might never have worked together."

"Oh the trouble that would have saved me." He laughed more loudly and timothy grumbled slightly.

They both quietened and focused solely on the road ahead. It didn't take too long for them to arrive at the ferry terminal and they were soon on their way. Patrick woke Timothy up and the three off them watched as the sun began to flicker in between the hills before it settled heading towards the horizon. Timothy cried out as soon as he could see the island. "Back into the car now."

Shelagh yawned widely as she sat down in her seat. Timothy seemed suddenly tired and was soon snoozing on the backseat. "Tired?"

"Yes I am slightly. How much longer do we have to go?"

"Another forty minutes or so. I doubt we'll meet much traffic at this time of night. I'm sorry you won't see much of the island tonight but I promise first thing tomorrow Timothy and I will take you on a tour."

"I can't wait." The rest of the journey passed reasonably quickly. Shelagh was surprised at how adapt Patrick was at driving on a single track road. They drew up to the farmhouse Timothy waking up as they arrived. "Don't worry about the MacDonalds- they're extremely welcoming."

"I'm sure they'll be lovely." Shelagh yawned again, they had left the house over 12 hours ago and she was tired. A middle aged woman greeted them warmly. She introduced herself as Ishbel and her husband as Douglas. "You must be the Scottish nun we heard so much about please come in and have some supper."

"It wasn't exactly a wee journey." Douglas said as he shook Patrick's hand. She could tell she would like the MacDonald's' just as much as her husband and stepson did.


	4. Chapter 4

**I know that this may seem short but I have a big chapter coming up. There could be another or two updates tonight it just depends. I'm home from school with tonsillitis and watching CTM continuously and also writing fanfiction. **

The second day of their holiday started off early but not quite as early as the day before. Timothy did not come in at 4:30 to wake them in fact he only came in at around 7:30. He slunk into the bed careful not to wake either of them up and just lay in between the two of them. This was fine until his father rolled over and reached out for Shelagh. Instead of Shelagh he got Timothy at which point he woke up.

"Timothy what on earth are you doing in our bed?"

"I wanted to be close to you two." He looked at the sleeping woman beside him and at his father.

"Oh alright but since when have you gotten to be such a softie?" He ruffled his hair.

"Since I was given homemade sponge pudding." His father chuckled quietly. "And I didn't have to go out with you every night on call."

"ahh well it's quite nice to have a backseat I must say." Timothy laughed but shook his head. "Where do you think we should go first?"

"Tobermoray and the beach down at Finnonport. I think that's enough for one day although I suppose we could take a drive."

"That sounds perfect." His father sighed heavily, happy to be free to spend all of his time not having to worry about TB cases or patients who were heading down slippery slopes. He could hear Shelagh beginning to stir. It was rare she slept longer than he did but then he was happy to let her sleep after having caught this silly bug of Timothy. "Good morning."

"Good morning." She reached for her glasses and put them on and got the surprise of her life to see Timothy and her husband looking at her expectantly. "Well aren't you early risers?"

"Not really it's already gone seven." Timothy said matter-of-factly. "We're usually down at breakfast."

"Well I suppose we had better get a wriggle on then." Timothy ran out to his room to dress. Shelagh went to stand but she seemed to do it too quickly and suddenly crashed back down to the bed.

"Shelagh are you alright?" Patrick sprung out of bed and sat beside her. "Do you feel faint or sick?"

"Just blood rushing to my head that's all." He didn't seem convinced but she went to get dressed after standing up and her head feeling fine.

They were dressed just as Timothy reappeared. "Come on then."

The breakfast was rather glorious for just porridge toast and tea. Shelia did not know what it was in her breakfast that made it so delicious but she had not enjoyed one so much in years. She had declined the eggs politely although she could not explain her aversion to them, the boys shovelled them in. Once they had finished their breakfast they headed down to Tobermoray. They drove because it was just beyond walking distance. The village was small and peaceful compared to Poplar yet the harbour was just as busy as some parts of the docks. They wandered for a couple of hours exploring the castle and Timothy spent most of it discovering secrets passages.

They found a nice little tearoom to have lunch in; it overlooked the harbour and served the creamiest Cullen skink they had ever tasted. They climbed back into the car after and drove to the promised beach. The sun had been hiding for most of the time they were in Tobermorary but once they reached the beach the skies cleared and the sea was turquoise. Shelagh had never seen anywhere like it and it truly took her breath away. They wandered along the beach, Timothy ran slightly ahead. Shelagh could have never imagined that this would be her life that she would be walking hand in hand with her husband watching a little boy that she thought of as her own play in the glorious Scottish sunshine. It seemed that God had been right to drop that letter into her lap; she had chosen the right life.

Dinner that night was a hearty stew, similar to the ones that Shelagh had as a little girl. Ishbel had been lovely and reminded her of an aunt who had taken over her care when her mother died when she was just nine. She felt perfectly at home and that night when she and Patrick returned to the farmhouse after taking a stroll to see the stars, she could tell that she would want to come back here again and again.


	5. Chapter 5

**This is small but I have the next chapter written up so they are coming together. I hope you enjoy this and it does get better well there's more in the next chapter. Please Review if you have time!**

"Good morning." They woke up entangled in each other's arms but with no timothy.

"Good morning darling." He kissed her temple softly. "Sleep well."

"Quite." She untangled herself and picked up her glasses. "How about we go to Iona today?"

"Are you sure? If you don't feel up to it we-"

"For the last time I am fine." He kissed him reassuringly. She really did feel much better- no longer sick or feeling at all faint, her bug seemed to have cleared up- and so she was determined to enjoy her holiday. "Please I want so see it and the weather is lovely."

"Okay. If you feel at all ill we will come straight back." She shook her head at him as she got out of bed to change for the day.

They had breakfast like the morning before except Shelagh had some of the eggs which were delicious. Soon after they finished they drove down to Finnonport to catch a boat over to Iona. Timothy could barely contain his excitement at going in the little fisherman's boat. Patrick took her by the hand and led her towards the boat. He was worried about her but he didn't want to let it spoil their holiday. He sighed heavily when he saw Timothy's excitement. He knew that it was not to last for much longer- he was starting secondary school that September and he would grow into a young man. He was so proud of him yet he still wanted a little boy to play trains with and to play football with. Yet he knew it was enviable and the best thing he could do as his parent was let him grow up.

They spent the morning exploring the monastery. It was beautiful and although there was a biting wind in some corners of the island the sun was shining. They went to a little tea room where they had soup and sandwiches. After sitting on the pier watching the boat come and go for a while Timothy spoke up. "Can we climb the hill; Mum would love the view from up there."

"Oh would I?" She raised an eyebrow suggestively making Patrick laugh. "I'm sure I will love it Timothy shall we go do that now?"

He didn't need answers as he raced of in direction of the heather slope. "You don't have to do this."

"Patrick it will be fine and anyway yes I do." He sighed pulling out a packet of cigarettes.

"I just don't want to see you hurt. If you get tired you will stop won't you?"

"Of course, now come on or else Timothy will think we've caught the boat back without him."

He put back the cigarette he was about to smoke and linked arms with her. He had smoked very little on the holiday most likely due to there being little stress.

They climbed over false peak after false peak until they caught up with Timothy. "I thought I'd wait with you and we could do it together."

"That's very kind of you but how about your father goes to the top with you, I think I've scaled high enough for one day."

"We can't just leave you." He came to kneel in front of her giving her a look of worry.

"Yes you can, I will wait right here for you. Now go." She squeezed his hand encouragingly. "Go."

"Alright, come one Timothy."

"But dad-"

"I said come on." He had started marching up the hill, he wasn't angry just worried.

"We'll be back soon." Timothy had run over and given Shelagh a hug before he raced after his father. "Dad wait for me!"

They were not long and soon they were walking back down to catch the ferry. Little was said except that it had been very windy at the top. The boat ride back was over quickly and they were back just in time for supper. It was roast chicken that night. Timothy went out with Douglas to do his rounds around the farm that night after dinner leaving his parents to sit and read whist they listened to the wireless. It seemed to Shelagh rather old fashioned in some ways. There was a television at home and although she was quite happy to listen to the wireless it was not the same as watching the news for example. However she and Patrick decided to have an early night after such a tiring and exciting day.


	6. Chapter 6

The fourth day of their holiday started quite like the day before. Timothy did not join them in their bed, something which Shelagh was relieved about when she got up with a groan.

"Are you alright?" Patrick asked as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"I'm fine. It's nothing just my time of the month." He nodded, grunted and went off to the toilet. She smiled slightly, for a man who was more than used to women discussing their menstruation; he struggled with the idea that his wife had the same monthly pattern as her fellow women.

Timothy slept in that morning and so he came down to breakfast just as they were all finishing. They had just been discussing with Douglas about camping that night down by the beach. The weather looked like it was going to be good for the next couple of days and so it seemed perfect. Timothy was going to go around with Douglas for the morning while he did his rounds and Patrick and Sheila would go for a nice walk by themselves. So everyone set off, Patrick drove Sheila to a different beach. "I only discovered this last year. Timothy did not care for it as much as his _own_ beach."

"Well I think it is beautiful." It was different there were less expanses of sand but there was an archway that took you from one end to the other. It was rather reminiscent of a wedding arch. She pointed it out and Patrick agreed. The walked for a while before sitting quite content just to watch the waves coming and going along the beach. At around 12 they went to pick up Timothy to have lunch on _his_ beach.

They lay the blanket out up near the rocks. Shelagh pulled out their lunch and the three of them sat happily. Timothy began to pick at a stray thread as he watched the sun waiting for his time to pass so he could go swimming, his father lay stretched out his eyes closed as he dozed against Shelagh who was reading "to kill a mockingbird". Timothy waited until his father took another stretch and checked his watch. "Right I'd better go pitch this tent, Timothy you can go now."

Patrick got up and headed back towards the sandy path leading to their campsite. Timothy stayed where he was for a moment though, watching birds duck and dive just above the sea. "Do you not want to swim now Timothy?"

"I just want to sit with you for a while."

"That's kind of you." He sat for a few more moments but she could tell he was bursting to say something. "What would like to ask me Timothy?"

"When did you know you loved my Dad?"

She looked at him for a moment trying to formulate an answer. "I suppose it was the day of the fete, remember where we won the three legged race?" He nodded enthusiastically. "He helped me tidy up my hand after I scratched it- it was then that I fell in love with him." She had thought about telling him in more detail but she knew that she could not teach him what it was to fall in love, only he could experience it for himself.

"But you were still a nun?"

"Yes I was. That was why I could not tell him." He nodded. "You father understood that though."

"You stopped being a Nun for Dad didn't you?"

"Yes I suppose I did." She paused for a moment thinking whether she really had just for Patrick or if it was because she felt impelled by God to leave for Patrick. She brushed it away quickly though. "Why all these questions? I thought you knew all the answers."

"Oh I did but well I wanted to be reminded of them that was all." He pulled of his shirt. "Can I go swimming now?"

"Yes of course you can. How about I sit here and wait for you?" He nodded dropping the towel he clutched at her feet and running for the sea with a loud whoop. She smiled and turned back to her book.

She had no idea how much time had passed before he ran back up to her to ask if he could go explore a cave. "Please, it's not far, within shouting distance."

"I suppose, yes you can, but watch for the tide coming in." He shouted his promise as he ran full pelt around to the mystery cave. Shelagh had begun to feel rather tired. She never usually felt so but she put it down to being ill and the commencement of her time of the month. She read another chapter before noticing a small twinge in her abdomen. She ignored it but it soon became difficult to focus on her novel. She suddenly became acutely aware of bleeding more heavily than usual and the sea and sand had gotten a bit hazy. She looked to the cave where Timothy had run to and it was almost completely out of focus. She rubbed her eyes weakly and tried to call him for help. Something was wrong she knew it but as she tried to get up she became engulfed by a weakness. She felt heavily tired and her body seemed to control itself. The last thing she thought of before she lost the battle to keep her eyes open was Patrick.

Timothy came running round the corner of the cave shouting for Shelagh. He was surprised to get to the cave's entrance and not find her waiting. He ran on though up to her spot on the beach halfway there though he noticed something. There was crimson on the green picnic blanket. As he got closer he sped up. The crimson was not just on the blanket but it appeared to be on her dress.

"Mum?! Mum!" He ran up to her shaking her slightly but her head only lolled further and all he could see was blood. "Mum, please wake up!"

He started to sob but kept on shaking her. When he called to her a fourth and fifth time he realised that he needed help and fast.

"DAD!" He ran up the hill, his lungs burning but he kept going. "DAD! DAD! PLEASE DAD!"

Patrick was speaking to Douglas MacDonald as he finished pitching the tent when he heard a voice coming over the edge of the path down to the beach. At first he wasn't sure who it was and then He realised it was Timothy's voice. Yet it wasn't until he could see him that he realised something was wrong.

"Timothy?!" The boy struggled and stumbled on towards him, almost collapsing into his arms as he sobbed. "Timothy what's wrong, what's happened?"

"The blood, she's bleeding on the beach and she won't wake up…. I tried but I can't." He never even finished before his father ran off towards the beach.

Patrick ran as if his very life depended on it and in some ways it did. He could not lose another wife. He barely skimmed the ground as he ran to her. When he saw her all he could see was blood on her white dress.

"SHELAGH!" He ran struggling in the slippery sand, cursing his idea for this stupid holiday. "SHELAGH!"

All he thought when he saw her was that she was dead. Shelagh Turner was dead.

**I am sorry- so sorry. That's all I can say except that I will have the next chapter up very soon, Please don't hate me- it is necessary.**


	7. Chapter 7

He stopped for a spit second before he went to her. Then instead of cowering over her crying he reacted. He deftly picked up her wrist and checked she was breathing. Her pulse was weak and her breathing shallow but she was clinging on. He let out a juttering sigh of relief as she wasn't dead, not yet and that was some hope to cling onto.  
He knew that she had lost a lot of blood - that much was obvious – and that she could haemorrhage further or go into shock if he moved her but at the same time was susceptible to infection and she could still keep bleeding. He took her hand squeezing it tightly. "Shelagh please my darling stay with me, I will save you but I need you to be strong."

He could hear Timothy shouting him as he came back down the path. He ran up to him as He carried on examining her. "Go ask Douglas if he will drive me to the doctors."

Timothy nodded and ran off, tears streaming down his face still.

He wrapped her up in the picnic blanket and noticed that the blood had seeped through he shuddered slightly but picked her up carefully. He began to walk back towards the path of the beach speaking to her as he went. He knew that she would not reply but maybe she could hear him. "Timothy and I need you, please hold on. Just for a little longer."

Douglas came up to him to take Shelagh out of his arms when he had gotten to the top of the cliff face that led down to the beach. He shook his head fiercely, though breathless as he was he carried on. Douglas seemed to understand and jumped into the front seat of the car, Timothy helped his father get Shelagh into the backseat. For not the first or last time in his life was Patrick glad he had his doctors bag. He went through and found some ergometrine. Although it was for after labour normally, he knew it could stop heavy bleeding and if his hunch was correct then it was the best thing he could do. He applied it quickly and waited a few moments. He checked her again and saw that the bleeding was tailing off for now. He let out a sigh of relief and kissed her cheek gently. He was still concerned by how clammy her cheek was and he roughly estimated she had lost enough blood for a transfusion to be needed. Douglas got them to the doctor's house quickly. When Patrick told him that she needed a hospital urgently he listened to the symptoms. The doctors face grew graver as he described and he finally said," I'll call the seaplane. It'll get her to Glasgow faster than anything else." He ran off but not before showing Patrick where the stretcher was so that he and Douglas could move Shelagh.

They lifted her gently, Timothy could only watch on, aghast. Patrick sat beside her, stroking her crown softly. He held out his arm for his son, who ran to his side. Timothy clutched at him rather desperately. "Will she die Dad?"

"I don't know. I don't know." He did not look at his son, his only focus Shelagh. When the doctor came out he himself examined Shelagh.

"I would say a miscarriage too." Patrick nodded softly. If only he had known, he could have done something, anything. Yet the doctor inside him told him that he couldn't, no doctor had the power of God to stop a miscarriage once it had started. "Do you know how far along she was?"

"No." The doctor looked at him as if to say he should have. "I don't think she even realised she was pregnant."

"Well the bleeding is stopping slowly but it'll stop soon. I can't give her a transfusion but they should in Glasgow. They'll be here soon, we'd better get her moved down towards the water just over there."

Patrick could only nod, a single tear escaping his eye. They took her towards the jetty as a long whirling noise began to grow from the east. "That's them."

Timothy looked at Shelagh, crying softly to himself. Patrick rubbed his back comfortingly. It was then that he noticed the dark black blood on his own shirt. Occupational hazard one of his lecturers had said about getting blood on clothing but it was more than just a patient's, it was his wife's and it sickened him. He was about to turn to be sick when the plane pulled up.

"I usually go but you know more than me in this case so you'd better go." The doctor nodded a good luck to him and looked to the little boy. "However they can only take one."

Douglas stepped in. "We'll take care of Timothy, I can drive him and the car up to Glasgow if needs be."

"Thank you." Patrick knelt down so he was the same height as Timothy. The boy's eyes were red and swollen from crying and he was suddenly reminded of how young he was. He wrapped his arms around him tightly," I'll be back soon, I promise. Your Mum needs you to be big and brave and so do I. I know you'll do both of us proud." He pulled back to look at him and offered him his hanker-chief. "Now dry your eyes and go with Douglas. I love you so much but I need to be with your Mum."

Timothy nodded as he clutched onto the hanker-chief hugging his father once more. He let go quickly and walked back to Douglas who placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "We'll take good care of him, I promise."

Patrick nodded and noticed that they had already loaded Shelagh into the seaplane. He climbed aboard quickly and soon they were leaving Mull in a very different way from how they had arrived.

**I am so sorry but she has lived and I will stop being so angsty. Thank you for all the reviews I was going to wait to post this but everyone seems to sending me warnings of what will happen if they have to wait any longer.**


	8. Chapter 8

Patrick woke up with a stiff back from being hunched up in the chair overnight. He had forgotten for a moment what had happened. Shelagh looked as if she was just sleeping except she was pale and there was a bottle of maroon blood hanging next to her bed. He took her hand again as he had for most of the night. The doctors had said little of comfort. There was no point icing the cake when he knew just as well as they did how bitter it tasted. They said the classic, "one in a thousand to miscarry like that." They had not hesitated when it came to the transfusion because she had lost a tremendous amount of blood, far more than she should have. The baby that she had wanted had been there all along. Yet now it was gone. He should have known - he was a doctor - if anyone should have spotted the signs it was him. He shook his head and prayed. He had never prayed like it before but if Shelagh was awake she would do it. It was the only thing that he could to stop him from feeling as if the dissolution would swallow him whole.

A nurse in came and checked her, a doctor came in for his morning rounds and a nurse a little bit later. She reminded him of the cafeteria but he would not leave his wife's side until she awake. The sun began to set and the blood transfusion was finished before he felt her hand weakly squeeze his. He held his breath not sure if after so long he was imagining it. Yet then he felt it again and he saw her cheeks were no longer translucent but had some colour in them. Her eyes were still closed but he knew she could him hear.

"Shelagh." He just didn't know what else to say. For a while he had wondered if he would ever get to say it to her again.

Her eyes fluttered slightly and she squeezed his hand again. "I'm here Shelagh and I won't leave you I promise."

She seemed to hear him let out a little sigh but did not open her eyes. He thought about going to get a doctor but he knew there was little they could do except tell him that the blood transfusion seemed to be working. He checked her pulse but it was stronger. A nurse came in to check if she was still bleeding heavily and do her other checks. He had popped to the loo and was surprised to find her there when he got back. "She nearly woke up."

"Excuse me?" The nurse had not noticed him and he half smiled," she squeezed my hand and her eyes fluttered slightly when I said her name."

"You should have told the doctor or at least gotten a nurse." She shook her head.

"I am sorry but as a doctor I saw no need to react. After such a heavy blood loss she won't be jumping up and down anytime soon."

The nurse was rather taken aback but she sighed heavily relenting slightly. "I am sorry Mr Turner I forgot that you yourself are probably more qualified than half the doctors in this hospital. Her bleeding is tapering off; it's halved since she arrived."

"Thank you nurse, you have no idea how much of a relief that is to me." She considered telling him that he was not to stay with his wife but she did not have the heart and the doctors had said the turners were an exception. Patrick sat beside her for one more night but when he woke up in the morning she was watching him.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Half an hour." She smiled at him.

"Shelagh I…"

"Please don't, I think I know what it was and I would rather not." She was fighting something inside her he could tell but he did not press.

He nodded and tried to find his hanker-chief. He could tell tears threatening to slip down his cheeks but he couldn't find the blasted thing in his pockets then he remembered he had given it to Timothy. Exhaustion overtook him and he burst into sobs on her bed. She stroked his hair softly.

"I thought I had lost you." She kept her hand where it was. "I didn't know what I would have done… but you here and you're…"

He looked up his eyes full of words that did not need to be spoken and she weakly smiled. They sat for a while in silence as his tears abated and he held her hand. She yawned quietly.

"I'm tired but before I fall asleep, how is Timothy?"

"He's with Douglas and Ishbel, I've not been back."

"When did we leave Mull?"

"Two days ago."

"Go to him." He could see the force in her words trying to come through her eyes but she was struggling to hold them open.

"I can't leave you. I'll phone Douglas and ask him to bring him up to Glasgow today with the car."

"He needs you too." With that she fell asleep and Patrick kissed her hand gently, too exhausted to shout for joy he just smiled. Shelagh would be okay.

**I'm sorry about this all happening but it does get better. I could never kill of Shelagh, I would rather die myself. If you have time please review it really does make my day especially since I'm at home sick in bed. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Well all I can say is I am gobsmacked by the comments I have received in response to this- You all are really too kind and I've never felt so touched by strangers- I hope this is a good enough thank you and if you have time I would love for you to review. Thanks!**

Patrick had left the hospital not long after Shelagh had woken up. He had to find somewhere for him and Timothy to stay until they could get back to London. He had his wallet and that was it. There wasn't even a packet of cigarettes which were sorely needed. He knew where he roughly was, he had attended a courses at the Infirmary and so found his way back down to the centre with relative ease. He found a paper shop and bought a packet of henleys and some matches. He ignored the puzzled looks from the shop keeper and was soon outside pulling out one of the cigarettes and taking deep calming breaths. He knew that there was a hotel at central street station where they could stay and he managed to get a room for two. They were due to go home the day after the next, he had managed to speak to Shelagh's consultant before he left the hospital about her being moved to the London or home. Dr Mackenzie had been willing to let her travel if the bleeding returned to the level expected after a normal menstrual period and she had enough strength. He even promised to arrange an ambulance to transfer her to the London.

Patrick had been given the keys when he booked the room and so decided to go buy a new clean shirt. His trousers could do but he needed to get rid of the blood stain that was still reminding him of what had happened. He found a department store on Argyll street and headed back to the hotel to change. He needed a shave but it could wait. He binned the offending shirt and headed back to the infirmary. Timothy would get back into Glasgow at around three and so he had a couple of hours to see his wife.

Shelagh had woken up again not long after her husband had left. A nurse came in to check on her and had asked if she was hungry. She had not thought of food but her stomach gave a little grumble. "Yes that would lovely thank you."

Her husband reappeared just as the tray containing her breakfast things had been removed. He came over and gave her a gentle kiss on her crown. "Hello my darling girl."

"Hello my brave husband." She was surprised to see him clutching a bouquet of chrysanthemums. "Are these for me?"

"Of course they are." He gave them to her with a flourish. "How do you feel?"

"Much better. I never truly believed that transfusions could have such quick effect but really I feel like I could run around all of Poplar and not be tired." She really did look better.

"Well that's good news." He sat back down in his chair. "Dr McKenzie has said if he is happy with your progress he will arrange for an ambulance to take back to London."

"when?"

"the day after tomorrow." She smiled. "Has he been around to see you yet?"

"No, I don't think so."

"He'll be around soon." She sighed and leaned back heavily into her pillows.

"How is Timothy?"

"He's alright I think. He was upset but he'll get over it."

"Was it bad?" She could tell by his refusal to meet her eyes that he was hiding something.

"Bad enough. Timothy found you and He…" He composed himself as he continued. "He came running to my making this racket and then I ran. I've never run like that in my life."

"I'm sorry Patrick." She cried then and it tore at his heart. It was not gently but with an animalistic guttural roar.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." She clutched his hand, playing with his wedding ring.

"But I do, it was a miscarriage wasn't?" He nodded softly, her cries only intensified. "I let our baby die."

"No." He sat beside on the bed and pulled her gently into his arms. "In no way was it your fault. You know as well as I do that once a miscarriage starts nothing can be done to stop it."

"But I knew I was late." She looked at him then with big wide eyes. "I knew but I thought it was because I had been ill and then that morning I thought it was all fixing itself."

"That's doesn't matter." He stroked her arm softly as a few hicupty sobs escaped her throat. "All that matters is that you're alive."

"You won't leave me, will you?" She was getting tired he could tell. "Not at least till I'm asleep?"

"I promise I will never leave you. Sleep my darling." He carried on stroking her hair gently, soothing her in the best way he could.

She cried herself to sleep - just as she nodded off and Patrick had made it back to his seat Dr McKenzie came in to check on his patient. He looked at her bleeding which was still tapering off but it was very nearly finished and checked her progress. He took a look at Patrick and simply said," She worked it out didn't she?"

He nodded, exhausted and utterly drained.

"Hard luck old man." The doctor took another look at her chart. "She's getting better though. If she keeps improving like this you might just have her home."

"Thank you doctor." He took one look at his watch and realised he had to get going if he was going to meet Timothy on time. "If you'd excuse me."

"Not at all. The shirts a nice improvement." He added jokingly as he carried on with his rounds.

Patrick managed to just make it to Queen street to meet Douglas and Timothy. Timothy looked as if he had spent the past two days crying and barely waited for Douglas to stop the car before he jumped out. "Is she okay?"

"Yes she is." Timothy hugged him tightly tears escaping him slightly. "She's been asking after you."

"Can I see her?" He looked hopeful, his eyes shining brightly.

"Not yet maybe tomorrow." Timothy sighed but he looked a lot better than he had when Douglas had been driving him up. "Thank you Douglas, I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"There's no need Patrick. He was good as gold." He ruffled Timothy's hair as he began to unload cases. "How is she?"

"She's better thankfully. She had a transfusion and it's made the world of difference." The three cases were soon unpacked.

"Ishbel packed everything up, if there's anything missing just write and we'll send it on." He shook Patrick's hand. "Send her our love, Ishbel wanted to come and say it herself but there's things to do. Write and tell us once you're home and this has all settled down." Timothy gave him a hug. "You take care of them, they'll need you. I'd better catch my train back to Oban." He walked off leaving the father and son to return the car and sort things out. Patrick had paid Douglas some extra money as a thank you. He looked at Timothy raising his eyebrows and smiling when the both looked to the cases. "Fancy a nice little walk?"

They left the cases at the hotel. After having a quick shave and getting changed Patrick came to find Timothy sitting on the bed. "Can we go see Mum now, please Dad?"

"I can't leave her today without saying goodnight I suppose but we can't stay long, she's very tired." Timothy jumped up from the bed and they were soon walking up the hill to the hospital. Timothy although happy to see his father was a bit subdued. He had felt rather abandoned during the two days his father had been here and he was struggling with it slightly. Patrick noticed his silence and just before they got to the top he stopped him. "Timothy is something wrong?"

"No." He started walking again. But Patrick stayed where he was.

"Timothy?" Timothy stopped but then started again this time with more vigour. "Timothy!"

"What?" He turned around tears in his eyes.

"What is wrong?" He was too tired to tell him or be angry. The last couple of days had reminded him of how short life was.

"You, you abandoned me. I thought you weren't going to come get me." Timothy was screaming it at him. "You never even asked if it was okay for you to leave, you just went! How could you? I hate you!" The busy street did not stop and stare but it kept going.

Patrick walked swiftly up to him and picked him up as he sobbed. "I would never leave you and not come back." He sighed heavily, stroking soothing circles into his back. "I thought you understood why I left? Shelagh needed me, she was very poorly, you know that."

"But I needed you too." He had stopped crying rather embarrassed to have been seen crying on the streets. "I did understand but I missed you. We used to be take care of each other."

"I know, I know." He put him back down, giving a little groan. "You are far too big for me to do that now."

"Please don't hate me for being so selfish."

"I could never hate you. How could you ever think that?"

"Because I just said horrible things about you." Patrick sighed and took his hand.

"it doesn't matter." Timothy made to argue but Patrick raised a hand and stopped him. "Not another word. Come on let's go see the patient."

They arrived at Shelagh's bedside just as she was finishing her dinner. She had recovered enough that normal visiting times applied and so they only had half an hour to see her. "Timothy, I've been missing you."

"You're okay."

Of course I am. I'm sorry I gave you such a fright." She reached out for him and he gave her hug whispering as he did so "I missed you too."

He sat next to his father as they spoke about Timothy going to secondary school in September and which subjects he was going to study. It cheered everyone up considerably and took the conversation away from what had happened to Shelagh. They were asked to leave at eight o'clock and so they decided to get sausage suppers before going back to their hotel. They sat in the station for a while and watched the trains come and go. Patrick was just glad that it had all worked out. They would go home and it would all be over, Patrick felt the sooner the better.


	10. Chapter 10

**I lied when I said there would be no more updates today. It's short but there's some nice little convos coming up between my favourite sister and Dr. Turner. **

The next day started off better than the day before. Patrick and timothy were just glad to be reunited and for the prospect of going home. They were to get the sleeper back that night and Shelagh would come up the day after. It would give them time to have the house tidy and to organise everything. They grabbed bacon butties from the station on the way up to the hospital. They had left their luggage in the lockers at the station and would collect it that night.

They wandered up the hill talking about the best bits of the holiday. It was almost as if that day on the beach had never happened. Yet they arrived the hospital and it was a stark reminder of what had happened. Shelagh was awake when they arrived though and looked even better than she had the day before. "Morning boys."

"Morning mum. We brought the cards." She smiled warmly at Timothy. "Dad said it might give us something to do."

Patrick had picked up her chart, had a quick scan and sat down in the chair next to her bed. Timothy sat on the end of the bed and began to shuffle the cards out. They played a couple of games before Patrick decided he wanted a tea. He left Shelagh and Timothy to finish their game. However instead of playing opposite Shelagh, Timothy went and sat beside her.

"How was your time in Mull?" She wrapped her arm around him.

"Horrible without you and Dad." She held him a little closer. "But I got to go out on the farm with Douglas a lot."

"Well I'm glad you didn't sit around moping."

"Ishbel made you a cake but we forgot it." He nestled into her before stopping "I'm not hurting you am I?"

"Oh no don't be silly." She tickled him. "I will be right as rain in a few days."

"Are you coming home with us tonight?"

"No, I'm not." She held his hand. "I will come home tomorrow though. They're sending a special ambulance just for little old me."

"You're not little." She smiled. He paused for a moment then looked at her, a question burning in his mind."You don't mind that I call you Mum do you?"

"No of course not, why should I?"

"Well I don't know." He shrugged. "I call you Mum and my other Mum-Mummy. I don't know if Dad likes it."

"You know it made me so happy to hear you call me Mum. And your Dad just worries that you are only doing it make him happy." He blushed. "I never thought I would have a son as lovely as you. I am so proud of you."

"I am glad you're going to be alright." He suddenly became uncomfortable and changed the course of the conversation. "Shall we have another game of go fish?"

"Yes lets." Both of them had been unaware that Patrick had stood in the doorway and heard their full conversation. He strolled in with a cup of tea.

"Who's winning?"

"Mum." Shelagh really did look like she was glowing.

"I spoke to Dr McKenzie and he said that there's no reason for you to stay in Glasgow tomorrow- the ambulance will take you back to London."

"Thank goodness. Did you hear I've up about this morning, that infernal bedpan is gone."

"Of course I did. I'm so proud of you." He reached down and kissed her ignoring his son's position on the bed.

"Will you two please not squish me?"

They both laughed as the little family started a new game of cards. Timothy and Patrick caught the train that night and arrived into London feeling relieved that their journey to Scotland was over. They arrived home to a quiet house but Patrick knew he had to go see a few certain ladies and break the bad news. Shelagh would need support and there was no one else he could think of. Timothy asked to go and see if any of the boys from cubs were about. Patrick agreed on the condition that he would not be too long. He wanted to be at the London for Shelagh arriving in the hope that the journey would go well.


	11. Chapter 11

**This is the long awaited announcement to the nuns, this chapter is one that I have found so difficult to write and I may well change it again.**

"Doctor Turner." Sister Julienne smiled at him brightly as he came into Nonnatus House. "How was the holiday? Did you have a good time?"

His face turned to an ash colour as he steadied himself to tell her the news. "Not a very good holiday at all."

"Did something happen?" She had her hands clasped together in front of her, worry etched into her face.

"Shelagh miscarried."

"Pardon?"

"We didn't, she didn't know and Timothy found her." He bowed his head, his shoulders quaking slightly as she led him into the kitchen making him a cup of tea. She felt as if the world had just tumbled out from underneath her.

"Is she… ?" She couldn't bear to say it and so instead she focused on the job at hand.

"She lived but she lost so much blood, I thought she was gone when I found her."

"Where is she?"

"She's being transferred back to London today. I'm not working but I just came by to say I would have a cover in." She nodded her eyes seeming to be a hundred miles away.

"When did it happen?"

"Four days ago. I was going to write but… it just seemed like I was writing her death sentence."

"Does she know?" He nodded. "Oh my poor dear."

He took out his hanker-chief and offered it to her to dry her eyes.

"She'll live and that's all that matters right now." She hugged him then, completely out of character but she felt it was the only way she could voice her thoughts. He had protected her- he had stood as her husband should- and she could not be more thankful.

"I'd better let you go, where is Timothy?"

"He's out with friends. I wanted to tell everyone but I need to get to the London before she gets there this afternoon. I hate to ask but will you tell them?"

"Of course I will."

She took her rosary from her belt and began to chant a Hail Mary. She would tell everyone that night after they had finished their dinner. This news stung more than when her diagnosis of TB had come through.

For once everyone was present at the dinner table even Chummy who had stayed because Peter was visiting his parents with little Freddie. Jenny Lee brought it up just as they were beginning their pudding. "We haven't gotten a postcard from the Turners yet, we must tease Shelagh on Monday about it if we don't see her tomorrow."

"You will not see Shelagh tomorrow or the day after." Everyone had laughed after Jenny had spoken but the room grew quiet.

"Why sister Julienne?" Cynthia asked her gently.

"Because Shelagh has spent the past four days in Glasgow's Royal Infirmary." Everyone around her uttered gasps.

"What do you mean she's spent four days in an infirmary?"

"Sister Evangeline," she paused looking around the table which was solely focused on her, "all of you, I have the most tragic news. Shelagh suffered a miscarriage nearly five days ago and haemorrhaged. She has arrived back into London tonight and that is all I can tell you."

"Who told you this?" Trixie had tears in her eyes and blew her nose quickly, "because it is truly ghastly."

"Dr Turner. He came by this afternoon to inform me that his cover would remain on for a couple of days at the very least."

"The poor man."

"Poor Shelagh more like." Sister Evangeline blew her nose loudly. "She doesn't deserve this, excuse me."

The table watched open mouthed as she fled. "I always said to that girl to fear her future and now look at what has happened?" Sister Monica Joan sighed and walked out of the room dithering to herself.

"Of all the people, they didn't deserve this." Cynthia comforted Trixie. "She had been so looking forward to this holiday as well. Poor timothy."

"Yes it seems Timothy was the one who found her."

"Timothy found her?" Jenny's face did not hide her shock well. "He must have been devastated."

"His father did not say." Sister Julienne looked at everyone's unfinished puddings and sighed heavily. The nurses surrounding her were all quite devastated but she did not have the strength or the energy to comfort them.

"We should send flowers at very least, if we can't visit her."

"What a lovely thought Nurse Miller. Yes although I was going to try to visit her on Monday."

They all murmured their agreement. Although Shelagh had left the house, she and sister Julienne still held a special bond, one that was not broken easily.

"I feel quite dreadful and I have this desperate need to hold Freddie. I couldn't imagine what losing a child might feel like." It was those words that hit Sister Julienne for she had seen Shelagh as her own daughter in many ways. A daughter who could be close to death. Dr Turner had not said if she was unconscious or if she had required surgery. She decided that she would wait until Monday before she visited to give them some time to find their bearings again. At least they both knew the hospital well.

"Well all we can do is pray and hope. Her future belongs to god."


	12. Chapter 12

Patrick was waiting at the hospital for Shelagh to arrive and she did looking even better than when they had said their good byes in Glasgow. When he saw her she smiled a knowing smile. He gave a questioning look and she nodded. If his guess was correct then the bleeding was gone and she was perfectly able to go home to convalesce. He waited outside her room the doctor examined her and when the young man strode out he walked straight up to him not bothering to introduce himself or have a polite conversation.

"She can be discharged. The bleeding is gone or is close to, I don't know why they sent her up from Glasgow."

"There was concern the journey may have aggravated the source of the bleed. Well I will go tell her the good news." He started to walk towards her room, the jump in his step returned.

"You do you know old man how much more likely it is that she will miscarry again after a heavy bleed like that- there could lesions." The cocky young man called it out to him as he walked away.

"I am aware but I doubt it. In my professional experience most women who miscarry with their first pregnancy have subsequent ones which are perfectly healthy. There is no reason why she won't have one too." He said it with an edge, he hated to be called old man by the younger doctors but he also knew that losing his temper would be worthless.

"Just be aware of it." Patrick shook his head sharply as he walked away. He knew that the doctor was trying to wind him but there was the threat that Shelagh would have another miscarriage if she did get pregnant again. He decided he needed a cigarette, he just hoped that she hadn't thought of it.

Shelagh had but she knew that every mother felt like that and that often more than not women were surprisingly resilient as were their bodies. Yet it was still a fear and one that she felt she could not voice with Patrick, not yet anyway. She had prayed a lot asking god to give her and Patrick comfort and although she knew her husband had little faith but it was still something. She had not been expecting him to walk through the door. "Those bloody doctors."

She began to rub his shoulders in a bid to calm him down. "What was it they said this time?"

"It doesn't matter." She pressed slightly harder. "Well they called me old."

"Oh don't be ridiculous, you're hardly old." He turned and smiled at her. "If you were so old, do you think I would have married you?"

"Well you did love an old man before me." She laughed and it made his heart sing. He kissed her sweetly. "I have missed your laugh so much."

"I have missed it too." She leant against him.

"You're to be discharged as well."

"Thank goodness." She almost jumped up from the bed. "Oh I can't wait to get home to my own bed and just get back to normal."

"You still have a bit of recovering to do. Just because the bleeding has stopped it doesn't mean you're to run back around Poplar."

"Of course not but to be able to go outside." He sighed and patted her leg. "When can we go?"

"As soon as you feel ready to leave." She looked so eager and he couldn't help but kiss her again and bring her into his arms. He just couldn't believe all that had happened in less than a week.

"Well do you have a change of clothes for me? I can't very well go home in my nightie." He nodded and opened up the case he had been carrying, handing her the assorted garments.

"Timothy is waiting in the car. I'll just pop up and give him the good news whilst you get dressed." She nodded and carried on quite happily. It seemed as if it was falling into place, except there was now a gap. Patrick was not a philosophical man but he knew that the gap was a baby and he would be dammed if he would not give his wife what she needed. Yet he would wait to discuss it with her- she would need at least six weeks before they could try again – but he knew that she did want one and so did he. He smiled brightly when he saw Timothy. Yes another little Turner.

**Little bit of fluff after the angst of the last chapter. This is dedicated to everyone who has followed, reviewed or favourite this story, I doubt it would have been half as much fun writing it without all of you! There is another chapter in my head so I could do two in one night! Please review if you have time, thanks!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I hope this is a nice way to end your Saturday. Please review if you have time!**

Sister Julienne was sitting in her office. She had struggled to sleep the night before and was fighting herself to not visit. She knew that she was supposed to treat them all the same but Shelagh was different. She looked at the clock again and decided she would go. They all knew her at the London and she could just say it was an emergency visit.

She caught the bus after slipping out of the house with no one noticing. She was not on call and knew that she should have told someone but she had felt too much urgency to find someone, instead she had left a note. She realised as she marched into the hospital that she had no idea where she was going. There were two different departments where she could have been moved to. She settled on gynaecology in the hope that she was there.

She arrived to the wards reception. A thin blonde girl was sitting at the desk sorting out several pieces of paper.

"Excuse me but I was wondering if a Shelagh Turner had been admitted yesterday? I thought if she was here she would be on the board."

"Oh yes." She said it quietly, too quietly for Sister Julienne's liking. "She was but she's gone."

"Oh." Fear suddenly coursed through her entire body and she began to shake slightly. "Thank you, if you'd excuse me."

She then ran. Anyone who could have seen her would have been most perplexed but she ran until she made outside and to the fresh air. She took deep gasps of air fearing that her darling was dead.

Once she had calmed down she tried to think of what to do. She could go back to Nonnatus and pretend nothing had happened or well she wondered if she should visit Dr Turner. She wanted to find out how he could have let it happen. So in a moment of pure despair she caught the bus to 19 Kenilworth Row.

She arrived and knocked on the door gently but firmly. Her hand was still shaking but she had to hear it from him. Eventually the door was opened and immediately she gasped.

Patrick Turner had walked up to the door humming gently to himself, just happy that it had all worked out. Timothy had been complaining about how much of a fool he looked since he couldn't seem to stop smiling. He was most surprised to see Sister Julienne in a state of absolute panic.

"Sister Julienne what has happened?"

"I went to the hospital and they said that Shelagh was…." Her speech drifted off. She couldn't understand how he could be smiling unless the woman had lied to her.

"What did the hospital say?" He looked at her patiently.

"They said she was gone and I assumed."

"Oh." He nodded seriously. "I'd think you'd better come in."

So the stunned nun walked into the hallway, Patrick closed the door and walked out to the back garden where none other than Shelagh turner was lying on a sun recliner. She had called up as he came out. "Who was it darling?" not taking her eyes of her copy of to kill a mockingbird.

"It was me." Sister Julienne did not trust her voice to say anymore in case it betrayed her; Shelagh's head whipped around so fast it looked as if it could spin off.

"You're here." She sounded just as relieved to see her as she was to see her.

"Yes my good friend, I am." She walked over and took Shelagh's hand and squeezed it. "I've just been to the hospital." She began. "They told me you were gone and I assumed that you had passed away." She did not need to say that she had been utterly distraught; it was still obvious on her face. Shelagh cried then, out of relief and happiness. She had missed the comfort of Sister Julienne. If she had been at home then her friend would have held her hand and taken care of her like a mother would.

"I missed you." She began to tell her how scary it had been. Patrick went to find Timothy to take him out to pick up something for dinner most likely fish and chips. "I thought that I was maybe pregnant but I wasn't sure and then it seemed like it was all returning to normal."

"You were very brave according to your husband." Shelagh shook her head and tried to dry her tears.

"He and timothy were the brave ones. I feel like I've let them down a bit sister."

"Why would you ever consider for one moment?"

"I… I wanted to give them everything a wife and mother should." She shook her head then. "It's silly but I really did want that baby."

"Of course you did." She then came around and hugged her like she had after she left the convent officially. "You will have a baby, you may even have more. God will see to it." It was false in many ways but she needed to say something. She was sure that God would give her the baby she craved.

"Thank you."

"It is my pleasure. Your husband did not give us many details as to how you were recovering."

"No I don't think he would. He's been ever so happy since I got home yesterday. We haven't really discussed what happened since I figured out what was wrong." Sister Julienne nodded. She had seen miscarriages leave scars. These scars would test a couple considerably but she had no doubts that Shelagh and Patrick would weather the storm together.

"He was rather shaken yesterday, that was what made his appearance today so shocking."

"Sister I would like to return to work as soon as I can." She drew breath in rather sharply. "I know I should wait a couple of weeks and I will but please I just want to move on."

"My darling girl, I will let you come back but…" She looked at the expectant face and knew she could not deny her anything. "You must remember that miscarriages are not easily forgotten. Memories can creep up at the most inopportune moment."

"I understand." Sister Julienne could really see that she did. Shelagh would be okay and that was enough for her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry this has taken so long, school work is keeping me very busy however it is a bit longer. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up as it's not written yet. If you have time please review- the reviews I have had have made writing this an absolute joy! **

Shelagh returned to work after three weeks in the end. Timothy was going back to school at the same time and Patrick had returned to work after only a couple of days. One of the most important benefits of being a doctor was that there was telephone in the house. This had reassured Patrick that had anything gone wrong then she would be able to reach him. Yet nothing did go wrong and the day arrived that he had been dreading and she had too. It would be the most difficult day of her career.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked her as she buttoned up her uniform that morning before going down to make a pot of tea.

"Yes," She took e deep breath, smoothed down her skirt and looked in the eye. "I have to do it. I can't hide from it anymore."

"I'm not saying you're hiding but no one is making you go back."

"Oh Patrick." She stroked his cheek gently. "I loved being a midwife and I couldn't imagine not doing it anymore. I need to move on and part of that is going back to work."

"Alright." He sighed heavily and went off to have his shave. She held her crucifix as she prayed silently.

The journey to Nonnatus house was a quiet one. Neither of them spoke there seemed little point. Their marriage worked on silence and the radio's sweet tune calmed both of them. When they pulled up to the house Patrick stopped the car and Shelagh did not instantly get out. He took her hand and stroked a circle in her palm before kissing it gently. She gave a juttering sigh. It was now or never. "You will be here to pick me up?"

She said it so quietly, had there not been so much silence he wouldn't have heard it. Yet he saw the fear in her eyes and he had only one answer. "Of course."

She took a deep breath and gave him an anxious smile; he tried to give her a look that gave her all of his strength. She opened the door and walked out trying to hold her head high and not look back but she did and so he didn't leave until the door had closed behind her. He would be on edge all day but thankfully it was a Tuesday and so there was clinic in the afternoon where he could keep a good eye on her.

Shelagh had not been expecting such a warm welcome back but she was touched. Everyone had visited her at one point however to be back in the fold was a comfort. Even just to be back in Nonnatus house was a comfort. They had all been waiting for her to appear and she was to go with Sister Julienne for the entire day which was a relief to everyone in particular Sister Julienne. She was on call and they were soon on their way out to Mrs Baincroft on Ploughman Street.

As they cycled to their first street sister Julienne watched Shelagh closely. She was cycling at a decent pace yet she was focusing on something else. She knew that she would struggle today but if she was going to come back she had to push past any pain even if it was difficult. They arrived at the first house but before they went in Sister Julienne stopped her gently. She gave her a look as if to ask if she was sure. Shelagh nodded and they walked in. Mrs Baincroft was mother to five other children already and so by the time they arrived she was well on her way. Her husband had boiled some water and their children were outside or in the case of the older two at school. Shelagh walked in behind sister Julienne. "How are you today Peggy?"

"Not too good sister." She was lying on the bed and looked as if she was entering the second stage of labour. "This one's been a right nightmare."

"For what reasons?"

"The pain, they say you forget but it was never this bad." She looked at Shelagh who meekly nodded. She wasn't sure if she could stay in this room but with sister Julienne beside her she felt in control of her fear.

"I'm sure it'll be worth it, just think of holding your baby." She said it with her usual bedside manner and Sister Julienne proudly smiled at her.

"Oh I hope so nurse turner." She had started to huff and puff a bit as another contraction approached.

"After this I will examine you okay Peggy?" She nodded her eyes closed.

The contraction passed and sister Julienne had been correct in her judgement that she was on the verge of the second stage. "You're very nearly there Peggy, just a little bit to go before the baby starts crowning; you can push with your next contraction."

"Good. I could feel the pressure and I was a bit worried that John would never get to you in time, oh another one's coming." She began to bear down, grunting with all her might. She was pushing for nearly half an hour before little David was born. Sister Julienne delivered the baby but she made sure that Shelagh took him once he was born. She looked at her and mouthed you can do it for a split second, before turning her attention back to Peggy as she gave one final push.

She handed Shelagh the baby and she wrapped him up gently. She choked back a tear as she thought of her own child that would never be as whole as this. Then she saw Peggy's face and she knew that she couldn't hold onto him any longer. She also didn't want to; she wanted to hold her own baby handed to her by her friends. She tried her best to hide the emotion bubbling up inside her but once they had stepped outside the house sister julienne pulled her into her arms and she broke. "You did so very well and I promise it will get easier." Shelagh nodded weakly drying her eyes and they set off for Nonnatus to get ready for clinic.

The clinic was just as difficult to face but she could do it. There were woman at every stage of their pregnancies and when she was on her tea break she couldn't help but place her hand where she knew that her baby had grown. Her husband had not had a chance to speak to her and she missed him, far more than she had ever done so before. Sister julienne had been more than supportive and she knew that she would probably come in to check up on her. Yet Patrick came in looking rather frazzled. She made him a cup of tea as he lit a cigarette.

"How bad?" He had spent most of the day worrying about her and because he had been called out he had not managed to check up on her until now.

"Bad enough. How was this morning?" She shook her head and didn't dare look at him, the tears in her eyes making it difficult for her to see. He took her hand and stroked it as smoked his cigarette. He offered it to her but she shook her head. So he stubbed it out and gave her a quick hug before handing her his hanker chief.

"I think I'll cook tea tonight." He said as he went back to where he had been stood up against the draining board.

"No, no you couldn't do that and anyway I don't think that any of us can eat any more fish and chips." He laughed and smiled at her as she handed back the hankie.

"We don't have long to go." She nodded and went back out to see her patients. Truthfully, they didn't have long to wait, everyone else said they would tidy up and let them get home. AS they drove home Patrick took Shelagh's hand in his and told her as strongly as he could how proud he was. She accepted it but crumbled yet again.

"Holding that first baby was so difficult." She knew that she had to be honest. "I just couldn't help but think that I would never hold our baby like that or of the baby we could have had, that is now gone."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. And clinic seeing all those women stroking their bellies and knowing that I could have had that." She then stopped slightly aghast at what she had said. "I sound so jealous and I suppose I am in a way but I love you so much and I want us to have a baby, I want timothy to have someone to keep him company."

"I know you do." He thought for a moment, they were just pulling into the driveway. "I've wanted us to have a baby too, for a long time."

"Oh I didn't realise." She began to pick at her uniform slightly. "I think we just need to be thankful for what we have and maybe we'll get what we both want."

He sighed heavily. "Yes. Although this sounds rather reminiscent of the last conversation we had driving home."

"Indeed it does, sadly we are not going on holiday tomorrow." He smiled at that and they went inside, a hard day's work over.


	15. Chapter 15

**Well I can't believe this has spanned to 15 chapters already! Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews- they really have made me one very happy girl! This chapter is dedicated to my friend Sophie who is just fab and also loves call the midwife too!**

Life seemed to carry on as did the babies that arrived in Poplar. Shelagh had decided to go back to working full time, Timothy was at school longer and she was managing to keep the house spotless. It also gave her something to focus on. Although the days had gotten easier she still yearned for the day she could a baby and feel no remorse or grief for her own child or lack of children. The summer months had given way to autumn and them in turn to winter. Their second Christmas as a family was fast approaching and Shelagh was in some ways dreading it. But she carried on, praying that god would give her strength.

It was the first day of December and Patrick had been called out on call and so he knew that most likely his wife would be home before him. She would maybe have the fire going, a cup of tea waiting for him or better yet his dinner. He had been on call the night before and was feeling in need of his bed. He sauntered in through the front door, whistling as he went. He could not smell anything cooking or see any sign of life from the kitchen. He wondered if maybe she had gone into the living room as he peered around the door he saw her. It was strange that she would not be up to greet him. So he decided to sneak up on her, he did so but when he saw her face he realised that she was fast asleep. For a minute he thought that something had happened to her but he could hear her breathing softly. He gently shook her shoulder whispering her name as she began to stir. "Shelagh, Shelagh. Come on time to wake up."

"mmmmh?" She stretched her eyes still closed, however when her outstretched fist hit Patrick's jaw they shot open. "Patrick?"

"You've obviously had a tiring day." He sat to her as she recovered herself.

"Not really. I just sat down for one moment and well I was gone." She laughed nervously. "I suppose I'm still getting used to working full time again, I'm on call on Friday."

"Don't remind me." They had both ended up being on it for the first time in a long time so Timothy was going to stay at his Granny Parker's. "How was your day?"

"Busy for anywhere but Poplar, yours?"

"Quite quiet actually. I just got called out before coming home and that's why I was late."

"I suppose I'd better get supper sorted." He watched her go, she looked perfectly well but he was still concerned. He turned on the television and saw a nature programme, he called Timothy down to watch it as he went and got some paperwork from his car.

Shelagh woke up the next morning feeling less tired but she still felt rather odd. Her periods had not quite gotten back into a solid pattern and so she had no real idea if she was late or not but she assumed that she couldn't possibly be pregnant, it wasn't uncommon for women to take a few months to get regular again as one of her lecturers had so nicely put it. So she carried on with her day, doing her rounds, dealing with births. The Friday soon arrived and Timothy was packed away to his grandmothers. Patrick decided that they should have a romantic evening meal of toast done on the fire; they would be close to the phone and could stay nice and warm. They set up a little picnic with the butter and marmalade laid out on a picnic blanket; they also had some ginger beer. "What a feast."

"Here my lady, some fizz." She took it gratefully. They ended up dozing in front of the fire and when the phone went at 1 they were up quickly. "Lucky us." Shelagh joked as they picked up their coats and headed for the car.

They arrived just as Jenny did. "Good morning you two."

"Good morning Jenny. Who is our patient today?"

"Susan Glinderson, first baby and she was due today."

"Bang on time, how efficient." They knocked on the door to be met by a rather harassed looking Mr Glinderson. "You're here, thank god she's upstairs and making some racket."

"We'll need plenty of hot water and towels Mr Glinderson is your wife's mother upstairs with her or anyone else?"

"No, should there be?"

"No it doesn't matter, some women just find it a comfort that's all." Shelagh gave him a reassuring smile. All three of them headed up to the master bedroom where they could hear the cries of Susan.

They marched in quite efficiently though, Patrick hanging back to allow the midwifes to do their work and he would step in if needed. Poor Susan was terrified, a young girl who had no one to hold her hand. "Susan we're going to be here with you all the way okay?"

She nodded before a pain started. She was tiring herself out and Jenny and Shelagh began to try to calm her down. Both of them using all of their best bedside manner.

When Shelagh and Patrick emerged eight hours later they felt rather desolate. The baby had been stillborn; Shelagh's first since returning to work. Patrick had in the end had to deliver the child by forceps to save Susan's life. She survived but only just. It was to say the least harrowing and when they waved Jenny off they sat against the bonnet of Patrick's car and shakily had a cigarette. Shelagh couldn't remove the image of the baby's lips from her mind- they had been so blue- she had forgotten what it was like. Patrick took her hand in his and they stood listening to the sounds of the dock. The men taking the baby away came out and she couldn't help but cry. Patrick wrapped an arm around her and rocked her gently before whispering into her crown. "Let's go home, have some Horlicks and get into bed."

So they left and came back to their own home. There would be an inquiry as there always was but that was not what was upsetting Shelagh. She couldn't explain why she had found it so upsetting, she just couldn't and when Patrick asked her she stared at him rather perplexingly. "I don't know. I'm not normally that emotional about it."

He had brought her inside and made her a mug of Horlicks before filling up some hot water bottles and turning down their bed sheets. She came upstairs and began to change into her nightdress and was surprised when he didn't join her. "Please come and join me."

"I can't I'm afraid, I need to pick up Timothy and take him to his friends but once I've done that I will be back I promise." She nodded, now too tired to care.

When he crept back into their bedroom he expected her to wake up slightly but she didn't. He checked her head again but she had no fever. He guessed that maybe she was just adjusting and climbed in beside her happy in the knowledge that he didn't have to pick Timothy up for a few hours.

December seemed to pass quickly that year and soon it was time for Timothy's winter dance and the end of the school term. It was a Monday and Shelagh woke up before Patrick as she usually did, the tiredness that had plagued her seemed to ease as the month progressed and so she was back to her usual sprightly-self. This morning however as she lifted her head of the pillow a wave of nausea hit her and she was sent running for the toilet. She hoped that no one heard and when she reappeared five minutes later, there was silence except from Timothy downstairs, she checked on Patrick who seemed to be still dozing. She quickly dressed and headed downstairs to make a pot of tea. Timothy didn't say anything as he ate his cornflakes, he said good morning to his father when he came down and ate the toast that Shelagh had made a few minutes earlier. They had a nice little routine and Shelagh felt slightly better after eating the toast. She still hadn't had a period and she was beginning to hope that she could be pregnant but she wanted to wait and see if any more symptoms presented themselves before she told her husband.


	16. Chapter 16

**I know it's been a while-I've been so busy but Im off school because I can't be bothered and I'll get more coursework done at home- terrible I know. This is dedicated to one of my reviewers- ****MyDoctorNo10.**

When the sickness did not leave her for four days running and she noticed that her breasts had become some-what more tender she decided that she had to tell her husband. However it was only a couple of days till Christmas and so she decided to wait and surprise him.

Patrick was driving Timothy home from his school dance, when Timothy finally plucked up the courage to ask his father what had been bothering him. "Is Mum ill again?"

"No, why would you say that?"

"Well she's been sick for at least four mornings in a row. She's always in the bathroom when I get up." Patrick stared at him for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road.

"Really. Well I didn't know, I must ask your Mum about it." Timothy nodded before going into a rant about how Gerry had fouled him in rugby that morning.

Patrick decided to not confront Shelagh straight away; instead he decided he would wake up earlier to see if she did spend her early mornings in the bathroom. So the next morning he woke as soon as he heard their alarm go. Shelagh woke up but she ran before he had even had the chance to turn over. He wandered along to bathroom and listened tentatively at the door. When he heard the chain being pulled and the sound of the water gushing from the taps he did not move. Shelagh opened the door not expecting her husband to Standing Square in the doorway. She walked straight into him and got a mighty surprise. "Patrick what on earth are you playing at?"

"I might ask you the same question." There was an edge to his voice that she didn't like.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I heard you." She suddenly realised, her mouth forming a little 'o'. "When were you going to tell me?"

"Well it was going to be your Christmas present." He smiled so brightly she knew that he couldn't be angry then. Before she could say anything more he silenced her with a kiss. They were interrupted when Timothy came out of his own bedroom and cried, "Will you two get out of my way in the mornings."

They both laughed after staring at him in shock for a few seconds. "Come on let's go back to bed."

"We can't its timothy's last day and we both have work." He sighed heavily and sauntered back into their bedroom to get dressed.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

"Well my dates are not exactly regular but I would say my last menstrual cycle was at the start of November so 8 weeks or so?"

"Well I think this is cause for celebration lets go out for dinner tonight."

"We can't, timothy can't be left by himself and the cost and-"

"Shush, Timothy can go to Nonnatus for a couple of hours I'm sure and we can afford it. This is a big occasion, let's celebrate it." She had her uniform on and was doing up the buttons.

"I just don't see why we should, it's still early."

"It's not really, which tie do you think I should go for?"

"That one." She sat down at her dressing table to put up her hair. "It is and you know it, most people don't celebrate till after the first trimester is over for good reason. We both know better than anyone why we should wait."

"There's no reason we can't celebrate now and tell people later."

"I still don't think we should be in such a rush about it and what are we going to say when everyone asks what we're celebrating tonight?"

"We'll say it's for our anniversary."

"We don't have an anniversary."

"Yes we do. Our first." She looked at him still puzzled. "we never celebrated our first because you were just out of hospital."

She smiled then and nodded. "I suppose."

"Look, I'll even tell them. We're not lying."

"No but I would rather wait, till the end of January. Where are we going to get a table?"

"I'll find somewhere."

"I'd rather not." He wrapped his arms around her. "I just don't feel comfortable with it yet; I don't want us to falsely celebrate it when there's nothing stopping what happened before happening again."

"You mustn't think that."

"Please not today, let's wait just a few more weeks." He sighed heavily and she knew he was disappointed but he didn't push it, he wasn't that sort of man. "Thank you."

He wanted to celebrate, not just the baby but that she was alive and that she could get pregnant again but she was right, it made more sense to wait.

Christmas that year was quiet and homely. Shelagh's earlier reservations were gone, both she and Patrick just excited by their little secret. They had considered telling Timothy but knew that he would struggle to keep it to himself. So Christmas morning came the two of them sleeping quite soundly when Timothy came bounding in. "Merry Christmas!"

Both of them woke up, Shelagh reaching for her glasses and sitting up before Patrick had even opened his eyes. "Good morning timothy, merry Christmas to you too." He snuck under their covers.

"Timothy, come out you get." His father reproached him as Shelagh left the bed as inconspicuously as she could. When she reappeared out of the bathroom Timothy was sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting patiently for his father who had gone into the sitting room. Shelagh joined him as Patrick slowly opened the door the sound of the wireless wafting through. "Timothy, father Christmas has been."

He raced in taking a spot straight under the tree where he had a vast array of presents. Shelagh pulled out her gifts for Patrick from under the stairs as he went back into the living room. He was surprised to see her come in with the pile; Timothy was oblivious too consumed in his own new Hornby engine.

The presents were soon opened, Shelagh receiving a necklace from Patrick and a matching bracelet from Timothy. Patrick got a new hand knitted jumper and a new watch from Timothy and Shelagh as well as chocolate. Timothy got more than both of the adults but neither of them minded.

Patrick was actually on call, he had gotten the year before off but to be fair he had agreed to work. They made it through Christmas dinner and were sitting down to play a card game listening to the wireless as the call came through. "I have to go," he said regretfully after hanging up the phone, "Duty calls."

"Go, we'll be fine won't we Timothy?" The nodded and took his father's place next to Shelagh.

That night when Patrick arrived home he looked in on timothy before going to his bed finding Shelagh waiting up reading a book. "Good evening Mrs Turner."

"Good evening Mr Turner, all well?"

"Oh yes, two very good Christmas present for the Jenkins." He changed and joined her in the bed. "You and Timothy have a good night?"

"Yes we did. He was in good spirits."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, we both understand. You know he wants to be a doctor like you." He smiled at that, a wee proud smile. And with that she placed down her book and they both spoke of the baby, the night being the only time they could discuss the little life in her abdomen.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry that this has taken so long to be updated, I was suffering from a bit of writer's block, although I am no writer so I don't know why it took me so long to get over it, I have an idea of where this is going which hopefully will entertain you all. As always please review if you have time, oh and this is dedicated to all my followers and a special boy who sings to me with his piano.**

It was strange when Shelagh went into work and examined other newly expectant mothers. She had not expected to smile so much when she told them how far along she thought they were or when she saw the line of mothers ascending in order of how close their due date they were. She had been lucky that Patrick had covered her morning sickness but she had debated long and hard over who her midwife should be. She had first considered sister Julienne but she wanted her to hold her hand rather than deliver the baby. In the end she decided on Cynthia and so the young midwife had gladly confirmed that she was expecting in late December just after she had told Patrick. Cynthia had promised to not tell anyone although she had said that it was not her place anyway. The day that Shelagh and Patrick had been looking forward too arrived. He was called out on call and Timothy was at a friend's house for dinner so Shelagh agreed to go back to Nonnatus after clinic. They all relaxed into normal conversation and soon the cake that Mrs B had made was nearly finished, at which point Patrick arrived.

Shelagh had not been expecting her husband quite so early so when everyone said, "Hello doctor Turner", she gave him a puzzled look.

"Good evening all." He sat next to her on the couch and took her hand gently.

"Would you like some tea and cake Doctor?"

"I don't see how it could hurt." Sister Julienne handed him the cake as she poured him a cup of tea. He looked to Shelagh as he accepted the cup of tea not before thanking sister Julienne. "Thank you. Have you told them?"

Shelagh took a sharp intake of breath as everyone stared at her and whispered, "No not yet."

Trixie looked as if she could burst as did everyone else, they had all moved forward in their seats to hear what Shelagh was whispering. "Told us what?" Surprisingly it was sister Julienne who said it.

"Well should I say or you?" She suddenly looked very nervous. Patrick nodded at her and she took another deep breath. "Patrick and I have some news. We're going to have a baby."

The room exploded as the girls shrieked and the nuns did nearly the same. Fred excused himself to hide his tears and soon the happy couple were overwhelmed. Sister Julienne waited though and it was not until Shelagh and Patrick made their goodbyes a good half an hour later that she spoke to them. "I am so very pleased for you my dear."

"I wanted to tell you first but I never got the chance and it just seemed like the perfect opportunity." She took Shelagh's hands and held them as Patrick went out to the car.

"It does not matter- happy news is happy news." Shelagh nodded her eyes watering slightly. "What is the matter?"

"I don't know everything I suppose. I have to ask you something which is why I wanted to speak to you first. I want you to be there not as my midwife but well my mother died years ago and well I don't think Patrick should be in the room." She bit her lip before continuing, "I was wondering if you would be there to hold my hand."

"I am honoured," She pulled her into a hug. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She sobbed slightly before they pulled apart sister Juliennes eye's watering slightly and Shelagh whispered her goodbye and ran down to the car, Patrick opened the door for her and she climbed in. She let out a sigh different from the one she had in the house. "It's all suddenly very real isn't it?"

He smiled warmly and took her hand kissed it gently. She smiled at him warmly as he gave her a look that needed no words. "I suppose we really should tell Timothy."

"Yes, we'd better." He turned back to the wheel and they went to pick him up. They were soon sitting down to dinner, Timothy tucking into his mashed potatoes quickly. He stopped when both of his parents did not touch their food and looked at him gently.

"Is something the matter Dad?"

"Yes Son." Timothy dropped his fork with a clatter, his mind scrambling to think of what he had done wrong. "Something is the matter."

"Whatever it was I'm sorry I didn't mea-"

"Timothy you've done nothing wrong." Shelagh looked at him concernedly.

"But Dad said something was the matter." He then began to worry that maybe there was something wrong with one of them, they could be sick or worse. He suddenly regretted eating his mashed potatoes so quickly.

"Oh not with you," She smiled at him sweetly and it calmed him slightly. "WE just have to tell you something." She looked to Patrick who cleared his throat slightly when he realised she expected him to tell Timothy.

"We're um... we're going to have a baby, Timothy."

"Really?!" They both nodded. He had been hoping that they would have a baby especially after what had happened.

"You don't mind do you?" He hadn't noticed that his father had been holding shelagh's hand and she seemed a little nervous and he had his other hand in usual worried claw like shape.

"No, I wanted you to have a baby." Shelagh came round and hugged him then, giving him a warm embrace but he could feel a small, slightly firm bulge in her middle. She whispered into his ear. "Thank you my special little boy."

Patrick could only blow his nose when he saw the smiles on the faces of the two people he loved more than anything. Life for him seemed pretty close to dam perfection.


	18. Chapter 18

**Ahh Chapter 18 and the next one is in my head, and is a lot better- bit more to excite you all. Don't know if anyone else is watching episode 8 again and again before it's gone from I player….seems to be how I've spent my day. Please Review if you have time!**

The months seemed to pass gradually faster and faster until spring had properly arrived and was beginning to morph into summer. With this change came new experiences for Shelagh and Patrick. Firstly she began to show and then one night she felt the baby move. She just lay there in bed, her husband away on call and Timothy asleep. She fell asleep before husband came home and so when she woke the next morning she waited for him to stir. When he did she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. He just smiled, the same smile that seemed to permanently reside in his face, one of complete contentment.

It was nearly six weeks later that she felt her first definite kick and again it was late at night but this time her husband had been speaking to her distended stomach whilst she read. She let out a little gasp her hand rushing to where she had felt it.

"What is it?" Patrick's forehead creased.

"I think the baby just kicked for the first time." She looked at him in awe. "Speak to it again." He did and she placed his hand under hers so he could feel the baby respond. Luckily the babe did not disappoint and as his deep voice swelled with pride it began to hammer away.

After that it got even realer, the girls had been fantastic in helping her organise everything, Patrick had found most of Timothy's things boxed away in the attic along with his old cot. Mostly everything needed to be washed and when Shelagh wasn't working she began to work her way through the clothes. It was on one of these days that her husband came home and surprised her with a gift in exchange for her to make a sacrifice.

She had just collected washing from the line and timothy was practising with the rugby ball outside. She came in and was quite surprised to find her husband making himself a cup of tea. "Hello."

"Good evening."

"I thought you were going to be late tonight?" He shook his head. "Oh well how your day was?"

"Oh you know busy for anywhere but poplar, how was yours?"

"I got a lot of washing done and dinner, that was about it." She dumped the basket down heavily, her hand instantly going to the small her back as she stood up.

"Are you alright?" He had frowned when noticed her hand go to her back. She nodded as she walked over to him. It was strange to think of her as being six months pregnant. "I have to talk to you about something but before I do I have a little thing for the baby."

He pulled from behind his back a beautifully wrapped present. She took it thanking him and opened it, inside was a beautiful dress; the pink softer than a lily. "Oh Patrick, it' just so…it's beautiful."

She kissed him sweetly and then as she put it down on the table she remembered he had had something to tell her. "So what was it that you were so keen to discuss?"

"Sister Julienne and I were discussing if you should keep working full time."

"Oh." She could fell her cheeks going slightly red. "And what were your conclusions?"

"We just don't want you to overdo it that's all; it's a lot to do."

"We are short staffed and I cannot consider not doing my duty, you know how I feel about my work."

"We do but this," he placed his hand on the bump, "means that you have to reconsider your priorities."

"This is my top priority along with you and Timothy, it's always been like that but I can't. I don't mind not being on call, I can deal with that but to not see patients to do what I have done for so long, Patrick I would fester."

"You wouldn't." He seemed hard for a second but then he softened. "Just slow down, if not for the me for the baby."

"I will but the baby will not be here for another three months." He sighed and shook his head and walked out. She knew she seemed to be behaving rather badly but he had no right to assume but then it hit her- he had every right as her husband. He would be in his study and she wandered through. He was sitting his head in his hands. "Patrick."

He didn't turn when he heard her soft voice. "Please Patrick." She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him gently. "I'm sorry."

"I just couldn't bear for something to go wrong again, not when we've gotten this far."

"I wouldn't let anything happen." She could tell he wasn't convinced. "If I felt it was too much I would stop, you know I'm not foolish."

He nodded and took her hand and kissed it, he then pulled her around and into his lap. They sat for a long time not noticing the time pass until Timothy came in to find out when Dinner would be ready. Shelagh jumped up and rushed through to pull out the chicken pie she had made which thankfully was just a little past golden.

Shelagh did keep working after that and by the time early June approached she was beginning to feel more and more tired. She wasn't working as late and she had dropped a couple of days a week without too much of a fight. The nursery still needed to be painted but Patrick and Timothy had decided they would do it when he next had a weekend off. So life was progressing just as it was supposed to and no one could have been more glad of it.


	19. Chapter 19

Shelagh had been sitting reading quietly on the day that it happened. The wireless was playing soft jazz as she fingered the book. Timothy was doing his homework at the kitchen table and dinner was slowly cooking away on the cook. Patrick had phoned ahead to say he was stuck at the surgery for a meeting with the other partners but she had said that it was fine. So she was sitting sedately waiting for him to come home. She suddenly felt her stomach go tight and a pain appear, she waited for it to pass and it did but not without taking her breath away a little. She knew she would need to start getting ready to expect Braxton hicks but it had been rather strong. When it came again and again she began to worry. When she went to the toilet and saw a smear of blood on her leg, she called Timothy.

"Timothy!" He bounded up the stairs to outside the bathroom door.

"Yes Mum?"

"Go phone your father," She felt another pain coming," and tell him to call for sister Julienne."

She heard Timothy shout a yes as she tried to work out if it was just her show or not, whatever it was she knew it couldn't be good this early. She decided it was just her show and made her way back to their bed knowing all too well the panic her husband would be in. The next pain that came was less intense and the next one even less. Yet she still was scared and she couldn't hide her relief when she heard Patrick run into the house and ask Timothy where she was. "I'm up here!"

He bounded into the room, breathing heavily and went straight to her. She burst into tears as he held her. "Shelagh what's wrong, is it the baby?"

"Yes." She heard his breath catch.

"What's wrong?"

"I had contractions and I think my show, I panicked." She was still sobbing but then a pain came and she breathed through it deeply, completely aware of her husband's frightened expression.

"Oh my darling." He stroked her crown as she waited for it to pass.

"I can't be."

"It's fine. I phoned for sister Julienne and she's coming, so if you are then we'll manage."

"No!" She said it so fiercely it shocked him. "We won't and it's not going to come today."

He didn't say anything but just held her and rocked her as another pain came but it was not stronger.

Sister Julienne had cycled faster than she had thought possible and when she arrived at the Turner's house she was not surprised to see that Patrick was home, his car had been abandoned in the driveway. She was let in by a rather confused Timothy who had simply been told to stay downstairs. She walked up but did not hear anything except she could see two figures sitting together on the bed, her heart stopped for a moment when she wondered if they had suffered another miscarriage. Yet when she entered the room she saw Shelagh tense slightly and her breathing change. She still turned around and caught sight of her, relief flooding her face.

"Sister."

"I'm here Shelagh, I'm here." She looked to Patrick who looked exhausted and utterly desperate. "What happened?"

"She thinks she's had her show and she's been having contractions, would you examine her?"

She nodded and did it quickly. "The baby's head is engaged and you appear to be a couple of centimetres dilated."

"I think you should go on bed rest."

"No, I couldn't."

"I agree, Shelagh, you and I both know how critical these few weeks are." Shelagh nodded but she looked heartbroken. "Your baby only needs to wait a couple more weeks and he or she will be perfectly ready."

"We'll survive." Patrick kissed her hand gently trying to reassure her.

"On fish and chips," She tried to smile but instead she burst into tears.

"Please don't cry sweetheart. It won't be for long, you're already 32 weeks gone just another four or so and I promise we won't just live off fish and chips."

"But work, I can't-"

"Yes you can, we will manage, everyone will just have to pull their socks up that is all."

"Thank you sister."

"Not at all. Doctor, I was glad you called for me."

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"No I'd better get back. Shelagh we are only saying this because we have to, you know bed rest can make the world of difference." She nodded weakly before curling up further into the bed linen.

As Patrick let sister Julienne out he turned around and saw poor timothy who had been sitting at the bottom of the stairs. "Is she okay Dad?"

"Yes, she's going to be just fine."

"Is the baby?"

"Yes I think so too." Timothy nodded. The silence between them suddenly became deafening. "You were very brave today."

"It was nothing." He still looked uncomfortable.

"It was something; you know I think you will make a fantastic Doctor." He smiled when he heard his father say that. "Go on you can go up and see her, you might cheer her up. Just knock before you go in." Timothy raced up the stars taking them noisily two at a time. Patrick heard him knock quietly though and enter the room softly. He went to check on the stew that had been on the stove cooking away whilst all the drama had unfolded. It seemed to be close to being done so he began to make up a tray for all three of them.

Shelagh was glad to see Timothy, he called her name so timidly it almost frightened her and when he opened the door he looked so small, she gestured for him to join her and he did. They did not speak, there was no need, she just held onto him and him her. When Patrick brought the tray up he went to other side of her and all three sat up to eat their dinner in the bed. Although there was still a whiff of concern in the air everyone was relaxing and that night they stayed in the master bedroom laying games until Timothy feel asleep and Patrick gently carried him through to his own room. Shelagh was feeling tired the pains had almost disappeared thankfully but all she wanted to do was sleep. So Patrick was not surprised to return to his bed and find her fast asleep, the stress of the day still residing in her furrowed brow.

**Little development here just as it seemed all was getting nice and comfy…I did consider toying with your hearts but then that would be cruel and I am not that, well not deliberately. To be honest I haven't even decided if the baby will be a boy or girl, so the next chapter may be a while or sometime tomorrow. Please review if you have time!**


	20. Chapter 20

Timothy had been wonderful- he had spent his spare time sitting with Shelagh whether he was working through equations or just playing games of cards. She had been finding it rather tedious to be confined to her bed but four weeks was not as long as it had first seemed. Patrick's cooking was also not too bad and everyone from their work had been popping in to see her on their way home from calls. When Cynthia came to examine her after the four weeks she was surprised by how calm Shelagh was, "Well you look like an angel with that expression on your face."

"Oh I don't feel like one I can tell you." She was rubbing her bump which now looked quite ridiculous on her small frame. That was the first thing that Cynthia had noticed.

"Nonsense, now how about I quickly examine you and then we can have a catch up?" Shelagh grinned and they made their way back up the stairs.

She could remember feeling rather awkward the very first time she was examined by Cynthia but now it seemed almost routine. She smiled when Cynthia grinned at her. "Still 1-2 centimetres but that's fine and baby's still engaged. Heartbeat nice and strong and you're measuring just a little bit bigger than 36 weeks. I think you can officially come off bed rest and just expect baby turner to arrive in the next few days."

"Oh Cynthia you have no idea how happy I am and how happy Timothy will be, he's getting rather sick of his father's cooking." She laughed and helped Shelagh sit up. "Do you want to test for toxaemia?"

"Your blood pressure isn't high and you haven't had any symptoms?" She shook her head. "Well there seems little point, your ankles and feet aren't very swollen at all are they?"

"No they seem to be the only part that hasn't." She sighed. "Come on then I think we've both deserved cup of tea and some cream cakes, Patrick picked some up yesterday."

They sat for a good half hour, Shelagh had been Cynthia's last call of the day. "So do you have any names picked out?"

"Well we had a few but it's trying to find ones that go with Timothy." She stirred her tea cup around the tea cup. "For boys we thought of Andrew and William although neither of us are sure we will call the baby that in the end."

"Have you got any girls names?"

"Well I like Kathleen and Margaret but Patrick doesn't think they go too well so we're still debating."

"My mum always said that was the issue with naming a second baby in a family."

"Yes well we might ask Timothy what he thinks, apparently he has a list drawn up." Cynthia giggled slightly as did Shelagh. "He is just adorable about it all, he's sat with me whenever he can the past four weeks."

"Maybe he'll have the perfect name." Just then said boy of the hour flew into the kitchen.

"Mum why aren't you in bed?" He looked rather shocked that she was sitting in her usual chair.

"I'm off bed rest, so no more burnt mince for tea." Timothy grinned and smiled at Cynthia.

"Hello Nurse Miller."

"Hello Timothy, did you have a good day at school?"

"Oh it was alright, I've got cubs tonight though." He looked at Shelagh seeking her approval, "Is it okay if I go get changed now?"

"Of course it is. You can go practice rugby in the garden if you like." He grinned and raced out again. "He's made the under-12's team at school this year."

"He's tiny though, they must eat him alive."

"Quite the contrary, he's small enough he can slip past many of the bigger boys and he's fast as lighting once he gets the ball." Cynthia smiled at how proud Shelagh was.

"Well I'd better get going, the girls and I are going to a dance."

"Oh lucky you."

"We were going to invite you but well," She gestured to the obvious obstruction, "We didn't think you'd feel up to it."

"No I don't think my feet or my back would thank me for it tomorrow. You can tell me all about it when you next see me." She smiled and bobbed her head.

Shelagh was quite happy to shut the front door and go start preparing dinner. It was nice for her to just get back to preparing dinner and not have to worry about anything other than getting it ready for Patrick and Timothy to get back out in time for cubs. The baby seemed to kick it's agreement as she diced onions and she couldn't help but smile.

It was of no surprise to Sister Julienne or Cynthia that Shelagh waited until morning to phone them. Her labour had started the night before but she had managed to get some rest and it wasn't until Timothy had left for school that she had finally relented that the baby was coming and soon. Sister Evangeline answered the phone and was surprised to hear a rather frazzled doctor Turner.

"Nonnatus house midwife speaking."

"Sister Evangeline? It's Doctor Turner."

"Ah we've been expecting this call, I take it your wife would like some assistance?"

"Yes she would," he sounded a little concerned, "I take it Nurse Miller and Sister Julienne are free?"

"Yes they are, would you like me to send them round straight away?" She had a slight sarcastic yet jovial tone to her voice which under normal circumstances would make Patrick chuckle but he was not in the mood.

"Yes please." So Cynthia and Sister Julienne set off and were soon reaching 19 Kenilworth Row. They rapped on the door thrice and it was answered by a frazzled Doctor Turner. "Is she upstairs?"

He nodded looking more than relieved to see them. "Boil some water Doctor and make sure the towels are ready."

"She's done everything but boil the water." He closed the door behind them and watched them travel up the stairs, his heart in his throat as he began the long wait.

"Hello Shelagh." They walked in and found her pacing breathing through a particularly heavy contraction. She nodded a hello but her face was contorted in pain. "Here bend over the bed stand that's it," Sister Julienne began to kneed her lower back firmer than anyone but a midwife would dare.

"Well he was right about you having everything set up." Cynthia began to lay her instruments out.

"Now after this finishes Cynthia is going to examine you okay and see how far along you are." Shelagh nodded not before letting out a low groan. She stood back up as it passed and let herself be led to the bed. She clambered up and let Cynthia examine her.

"Well you've made some progress, you're at about 7 maybe centimetres, your waters are still intact but they'll probably go soon." Shelagh nodded and let out a puff of air in relief.

"Thank goodness, I had this horrible vision that you would tell me I was only four or five." She laughed but then another pain appeared.

"These are coming thick and fast." Cynthia watched as Shelagh breathed through it again, still in control, "That's it you're doing wonderfully."

Sister julienne rubbed her back gently and held her hand. "We could get you some gas and air if you would like?"

She nodded a little as the pain receded. "The next one."

"Go ask Doctor Turner to bring it up."

As Cynthia left Shelagh turned to Sister Julienne, "I'm afraid sister. I know what could go wrong and it terrifies me."

"Nothing is wrong at the moment, your baby's heartbeat is fine, you are fine and I nor Cynthia nor your husband let anything happen to this baby."

She nodded and let out a small gasp. "My waters just went."

Sister Julienne quickly checked them," they're clear and you seem to be getting close, can you feel any pressure?"

"Yes," Shelagh couldn't quite explain the feeling, "I never thought it would feel so… strange."

"Well hold off pushing just yet, I think Cynthia would hate to miss this, oh here she is."

"Anything happen?" She looked at the two of them seeing that something must of by the looks of readiness in their eyes.

"My waters went and I can feel the pressure building." She began to breathe through a contraction and the urge to push suddenly appeared. "I need to…"

"Hold off just for a little minute while I check you," Suddenly the door opened and Patrick hurried in carrying the gas and air machine.

"Sorry it took so long, I couldn't find my keys." Shelagh shook her head but let out a loud groan. Patrick set it up quickly, passing her the mask, "breathe sweetheart, breathe."

Shelagh did so and relaxed, when the pain passed Cynthia examined her. "You're almost there Shelagh, the last little bit to go, just hold off from pushing a little if you can."

"Now Doctor Turner, you know the rules." Shelagh had regained her sense of control in the delivery room as the contraction passed and her head cleared slightly. "Expectant fathers are not allowed."

He looked at her pleadingly. Sister Julienne watched the two of them for a moment. "He could take one hand and I the other."

Shelagh looked at her as if she had been betrayed.

"I promise I won't speak, I'll close my eyes if you want me to." She looked at him and sighed giving up the fight, she was too exhausted to concentrate on that.

"Alright but if anyone asks you weren't in here." So he stayed and when the next few pains returned Shelagh was coached through them by the two adults that she needed most in the world. When Cynthia finally told her to push, the relief that flooded her made it seem like a fountain was being opened inside her.  
As Cynthia picked up the screaming infant from her stomach she felt her heart melt and Patrick squeeze her hand back for the first time before placing a soft kiss to her crown. Cynthia handed the baby to him and when she saw him have a peak to see what the baby was she knew instantly without him speaking that it was a little girl. She hugged sister Julienne thanking her and then was rather relieved when Patrick was shooed out of the room, sadly taking their daughter with him. It was strange to watch him hold their baby, she could remember him saying that babies bounced when you dropped them but it seemed that with the tiny little life in his arms he had no intention of testing his theory. He carried her so gently and so carefully she knew that no harm would come to her baby, not then, not ever.

**So that is it. Or it was supposed to be. I had planned to stop at this point but if you would like me to continue I can- there is a heap more I could write but originally it was going to be twenty chapters. Please review and tell me your wonderful thoughts on continuing this and names for baby girl Turner.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Well here we have the penultimate chapter. I would just like to say a big thank to my new beta; ellie-may11 who has kindly read this and been wonderful about it. I have loved writing this- so much so that I can't bear to spoil it. There will be one more chapter after this but this one is dedicated not just to all of you who have read this or been my been beta but to my Mum's friend who is fighting cancer. There will be more after this fic finishes- so if you keep an eye on me or the board or if you follow me you'll see it cropping up eventually! As always if you have time please review!**

When Patrick reappeared she was more than relieved to see that their daughter had been dressed into one of the baby nighties and wrapped in a warm blanket. "Can we visit yet?" He said as he peeped around the door.

"Of course, come in." They were just tidying up, Shelagh had changed into a different nightgown and was sat in the middle of their bed and as soon as the door opened she held her hands out for her baby. Patrick looked happier than she had ever seen him and he was holding their precious bundle just as gently as he had when Cynthia had given her to him.

Patrick could see the longing in his wife's eyes. All of the nights when they had sleep in their bed and both had known of the void between them but here the void had been filled. He watched in awe at her face when he handed their little girl over. "Hello sweetheart, I've waited so long to meet you."

As she took the baby he came and wrapped his arm around her, the two of them scanning every image of her face, her little rosebud lips, the long delicate eyelashes and the bright blue eyes. "Look she's yawning." Shelagh stroked her cheek gently, her own mouth copying with a little 'o' shape. Patrick took his eyes off the baby and looked at her- she had never seemed so beautiful. She was looking at their daughter with eyes that he had never seen before and it made him love her in a way he hadn't realised. Neither of them saw the two midwives leave; they were so engrossed in each other and the baby. It wasn't until said baby began to mew slightly and they realised that she was hungry.

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Yes I would." She was carefully encouraging the baby to latch on and she did readily. Once she had finished Patrick had returned with the tea and took the baby and began to wind her. When he had finished he felt her go heavy as she began to fall asleep, he stroked her cheek gently as Shelagh had and smiled when the baby's breathing became shallow. "She needs a name."

"Yes she does, do you have any ideas?"

"No although I did like Sarah."

"Timothy and Sarah, mmh I suppose it goes alright." She looked at the baby long and hard. "She doesn't look like a Sarah though."

"Well do you have any ideas?" She shook her head sighing. "Maybe Timothy will have some."

They had forgotten a little about the other little boy in their life. Shelagh checked Patrick's watch. "He'll be home in no time."

"Oh yes, well I think this is a nice surprise, don't you?" She smiled warmly at him and kissed him putting all of her love and thanks into it. "Thank you for letting me stay."

"I was too tired to march you out or put up any fight."

"I never thought it would seem that more beautiful when it was your own child."

"Neither did I. I'm just so elated that she's ours." She shared a secret smile with him. "You know you spurred me on a bit."

"How?" He leant back looking at her questionably.

"Your face, you were so excited and I didn't want that look to disappear and when you said that she was here, I felt my heart burst a little."

He laughed and rubbed her arm gently, "You were a star and I couldn't have been prouder."

They sat and waited patiently for the front door to go. When they heard Timothy call for Shelagh Patrick placed the nameless babe into Shelagh's waiting arms and left to go greet him. Shelagh sat waiting feeling more content than she had ever imagined and when the door opened and she saw timothy's excited face she felt her heart grow with love for the little boy. He came up to the bed his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open in wonder. He just stared at the baby for a moment.

"Would you like to say hello to your little sister Timothy?" He nodded and scampered onto the bed sitting next to Shelagh as she delicately placed the baby into his waiting arms. "Mind her head, that's it."

"Hello baby." He watched as she sleepily opened her eyes and stared at him for a moment before returning to her nap and clutching his little finger as he shook her hand gently. "She's so tiny."

"Yes she is isn't she?" Patrick sat at the end of the bed watching Shelagh stroke Timothy's hair.

"Does she have a name?"

"No not yet." They watched as his face lit up even more. "Do you have any ideas Timothy?"

"Well what about Evelyn." Shelagh looked at him for a moment. Patrick shook his head.

"No Timothy we couldn't."

"Why not? It's a good name." Shelagh smiled at him trying to make the crushed look that had appeared when Patrick had been so blunt disappear.

"It was his mother's name."

"It was my mother's name too." Patrick stared at her; he hadn't expected her to say that at very least.

"What?"

"It was my mother's name too, you weren't expecting that were you?" She looked down at the little baby and smiled. "Yes baby Evelyn we could call her eve for short."

"Shelagh please." Patrick suddenly looked devastated. "I can't."

"Oh Patrick." She stroked his cheek gently. She knew that it would be a constant reminder of what he had lost but at the same time there could be no greater memorial.

"Please Dad, she looks like an Evelyn, you always called mum Lyn so why can't we call her Eve instead?" Timothy looked at him defiantly, his eyes sparkling and Shelagh couldn't have been prouder of him. Patrick shook his head before looking at the baby and taking her gently from Timothy.

He traced her tiny palms before sighing. "She does look like an Evelyn." He sighed again, "Alright we'll call her Evelyn."

The two sitting in front of him smiled brightly at each other. His daughter opened her eyes and stared at him as if to say she approved. She wrapped her hand around his little finger as if to say that she owned it and he smiled brightly. "Baby Eve."


End file.
